LETTERS

Dear Josh Bell,

Journalism? I'm sorry, you must be about 17 years old, with your own "cool/local/pop culture/movie-guy" newspaper column to write such dreck. Good luck, don't quit your day job. I can see your future in Clerks, one or two, take your pick.

Have you seen anything Joss Whedon has done? Have you seen Serenity? Have you watched Buffy? Do you know what kind of a character that Wonder Woman will become in his hands? You must be terribly threatened by characters with depth, or perhaps if the jokes aren't about gettting high it goes over your head.

I'm sorry that he doesn't drag two stoned juveniles/40-year-olds pretending to be juveniles through hilarious (please note the sarcasm here) situations where they talk about sex all the time. Tit jokes, nothing funnier.

Dear Josh Bell,

Just took another look at Baby last night on HBO and thought I'd peruse the original reviews. When I ran across yours, I was struck by how utterly out of step with the rest of humanity on this Academy Award near-sweep you find yourself. I just wonder: How embarrassing is it to thoroughly trash a film from the somewhat less than lofty perch of critic for a Las Vegas newspaper while every critic of note sings its praises? Missing on every key point, and relying on the old Philip Wuntch (of the Dallas Morning News) shibboleth of "predictability" as the ultimate deal-killer, you find yourself in not-so-splendid isolation. Even the New York Times, known for its seemingly deliberate contrarian views of films others love, said this about Baby:

"Clint Eastwood takes what appears to be a conventional boxing-melodrama plot about a crusty old trainer whose heart is melted by a spirited young fighter and turns it into a glowing, somber meditation on friendship, ambition and death. The picture's scale is small, and its pacing leisurely, which gives you a chance to savor three lovely performances: from Hilary Swank as the young boxer, Morgan Freeman as world-weary former contender and Mr. Eastwood as the trainer, Frankie Dunn. At 74, Mr. Eastwood has achieved a level of mastery that leaves him with nothing to prove, and so, unafraid of sentiment and willing to risk cliché, he has made a graceful, lyrical, devastating masterpiece—the best film released by a major Hollywood studio this year. —A. O. Scott, The New York Times"

Gee, Josh, it sure must be lonely there at the bottom.

Editor's note:
We can't tell you how appalled we are to learn that we're not suitably in lockstep with everyone else, Charlie. We'll try harder to synchronize our opinions in the future.

As a devout Clausian [Editor's Note: Huh? A Clausian? One devoted to Santa? Or to a group of words containing a subject and a finite verb?] I feel compelled to offer my observations on Ms. Brittany McComb's school speech and Rabbi Daniel Lapin's comments to her regarding her service to Judeo-Christianity. However, I first must briefly explain that, while Clausianity does get a lot of indirect publicity during the Winter Solstice, it is somewhat obscure as a faith to the public at large—even though studies have shown that 60 percent of the population expresses a belief in Claus. It is high time that we closeted Clausians come join in solidarity with our Judeo-Christian brethren. For, in truth, America IS a Judeo-Christi-Clausian society. And so, I write.

Occasionally, loving correction is called for amongst brethren. The primary tenet of the Clausian Catechism is "Give as Ye have been Given unto." Ms. McComb does give credit to her deity of choice for making her good schoolwork possible. This is admirable. However, she neglects her family, schoolmates and teachers, who undoubtedly have given much to her over the years. Most tellingly, she omits any reference to someone who most certainly has given her unforgettable gifts on a yearly basis all of her life, likely including intelligent reading material and school supplies (and, we believe, her very life, itself!)—Santa Claus! [Editor's note: Ah, mystery solved!] This is a shame. In the context of Judeo-Christi-Clausianity, his letter-writing would have been a good occasion for Rabbi Lapin to mention these human gifts to Ms. McComb, but he has glaringly missed the opportunity. Perhaps he has been tragically distracted by something—maybe public reaction to his association with Jack Abramoff (who was a big giver, but, alas, an even bigger taker). Or maybe he has been embarrassed by the fact that his name means "castrated rabbit" in French and he has seven children. It would be ungiving of me to speculate further.

Rabbi Lapin further misleads Ms. McComb by making less-than-giving comments about her faculty, the city of Las Vegas, Mr. Lichtenstein and the ACLU. These statements are, from my perspective as a minister, un-Judeo-Christi-Clausian! Concerning the ACLU, suffice to say that Clausians have great respect for that organization, which we regard as a protector of the greatest gifts that can be bestowed upon a people: our constitution, our freedom, our liberty, our justice for all and our sacred right to appear, red-suited, in front of department stores during the Xmas Season.

And so, I plead with Ms. McComb and Rabbi Lapin: Let us stand together as one and give as we have been given unto! Let us give credit where credit is truly due! Let us send small, thoughtful gift items to those who criticize us and cause us resentments!

Yours in Claus,

Jul 24, 2006 11:09 AM

As always, great job to all of you there. Let me remind you I am reopening Andre's French Restaurant Downtown this coming Monday with a bang. I hope I will see some of you in for a dinner you will never forget! I will take good care of you. Thanks for your support.

Jul 13, 2006 3:10 PM

WONDERFUL MAG LAST ISSUE!!!!

Jul 10, 2006 9:09 AM

I love Las Legas Weekly.

Jul 9, 2006 12:16 PM

I LOVE Las Vegas Weekly!!! You guys are the best and me and Cadance want to marry you :P