If nothing else, the FlatOut series will teach you the dangers of not wearing your seat belt. In addition to getting ejected from the car with every magnificent crash, the drivers of FlatOut 2 can be purposefully launched through their windshields in a series of ludicrous mini-games in which you can aim the flailing rag dolls at huge baseball bats that will subsequently knock them into a field filled with gigantic mitts.
Such mini-games were the biggest draw in the original FlatOut, but this sequel also improves on the destructive races. Though the carnage still doesn't reach Burnout proportions, FlatOut 2 does trump the EA franchise in one respect. It gives its AI drivers vengeful personalities so the more dinks you put in their cars, the more they'll tend to veer into you. It also gives its drivers names, so when Sally puts you through your windshield, you can dish out satisfying Sally-specific obscenities instead of just shouting, "Damn you, yellow car!"
SUPER MONKEY BALL ADVENTURE BY SEGA (2 stars)
Platforms: PlayStation 2, GameCube, PlayStation Portable.
Rated: E.
As puzzle games go, the Super Monkey Ball franchise has a lot of charm, but as free-roaming adventure games go, those balls could just as well be filled with miniature Carson Dalys for all the personality they have. The motion mechanics of the simian-filled spheres were fine in a puzzle, but one minute of attempting to navigate that ball around a landscape will have you screaming "Free the monkey!" louder than any animal rights activist.
THE ANT BULLY BY MIDWAY (2 stars)
Platforms: PlayStation 2, GameCube.
Rated: E10+.
To teach you how to function as an ant, this action/platformer throws you 20-odd missions involving foraging, scouting, assaults and rescues. Funny how every mission inevitably boils down to collecting things and battling hordes of identical insects. Actually, that sounds entomologically correct as ant activities go, but all it successfully teaches us is how great it is to be on the other end of the food chain.
MIAMI VICE: THE GAME BY VIVENDI UNIVERSAL/SIERRA (3 stars)
Platform: PlayStation Portable.
Rated: M.
Rather than treading the path of the common first-person shooter, Miami Vice mixes things up with a well-implemented reputation system. The ballsier you are in gunfights, the more respect and money you earn, making it easier to get info from informants or purchase a variety of those cool pastel duds. Too bad the whole game only lasts a few hours. I swear, Michael Mann's film is longer than this.