Sunday, October 29th, 11:45 p.m. Bunny Xania, reporting for duty. I've even made a name tag to wear on my hip like the real Playboy Bunnies. NapkinNights.com's Tracy Lee and I have hit the town dressed as Hef-ette and Bunny respectively, with Wingwoman Krystle playing the role of Naughty Pirate and a new NapkinNights photographer trainee doing a convincing Jessica Rabbit. But for all of my Halloween party planning, the one thing I didn't think to consider when assembling my costume was being halted by the fashion police. In the elevator, we find it strange that we are whisked straight up to Moon though we said we were heading first to Playboy.
I take out my GPS device to make sure I'm still in Vegas.
"Wait, I'm too sexy for the Playboy Club?!" Those are eight words I never thought I'd say. When I visited the Playboy Mansion in LA this summer, I definitely sensed I was pushing my luck, throwing my bunny ears into the ring among professional working models. But my bikini-cut satin onesie and Tracy's booty shorts seem to have touched a definite dress-code nerve involving gaming and scantily clad-ness. Hmm, isn't that what this town was founded on? Chalk it up to extraordinary negotiation skills, vigorous false-eyelash batting and the fact that four sexy ladies never did a club any harm (plus, we vow to keep Tracy's robe shut) but we are finally allowed to enter the dark and inviting space. I make a beeline straight for the Diamond Bar with a minute to spare before the Ladies in Costume Drink Free Champagne Till Midnight offer expires.
This isn't the first time my outfit has raised a few eyebrows tonight. I unwittingly did a little free advertising for the club when I picked someone up at the airport at 10 p.m. in full Bunny regalia. "Are you a real Playboy Bunny?" an older gentleman inquired, perhaps wishing that I might ask to see his member's key and bring him a stiff Rob Roy. "I am tonight ..." I cooed back from under my slightly crooked ears. Oh, the ears—that's the best part. Scanning the room, I see that ear fashion is a personal choice among the devastatingly gorgeous servers and dealers: up, down, curled, perky. Me, I like mine pert.
At 12:15, the tally stands at two faux Hefs and one faux Bunny. I don't get any dirty looks from the bona fide Bunnies, but they don't exactly bring me into their warren, either, so I stick like glue to bartender Jerrica who makes her regulars a special—Jerrica's Sex on the Beach—which involves her putting everything but her Roberto Cavalli bow tie in the glass. Ask for it by name.
With Tracy and her protégée, we take pictures at the Diamond Bar with its crystal backdrop and by the reconditioned Playboy pinball machines, just like the ones in the Mansion's infamous game room. Every surface is luxuriously textured and no expense—nor animal—has been spared in creating the leather ceiling and walls, zebra chairs and reptilian ottomans. My favorite element, of course, is the use of the official Playboy logo, which has been lovingly glued, tacked, imprinted and sewn into and onto everything. The black onyx fireplace shines a warm glow on the faces of those sitting by the VIP bar, as do the screens of the video poker machines at the gaming bar.
By 2 a.m., the Bunny count has increased to four, though many more are said to be upstairs. Sunday's resident Graham Funke spins all my favorites, like "Your Love" by Outfield. "I don't wanna lose your love tonight," I sing along. "I just wanna use your love tonight." Costumed partiers roll in: Cartoon characters, military and religious personnel and especially pirates abound. I even find two gents in full-body, fluffy bunny suits upstairs, manning Moon's light and video systems. "So, do you feel your Bunny costume objectifies you?" I lean in toward the bewildered boy who struggles under the weight of his headpiece. "Um, no?" Me neither. Here's to you, Hef. Thanks for making tight, corseted satin rompers with bow ties, cuffs and collars the hottest combo since champagne and strawberries.
Xania Woodman thinks globally and parties locally. And frequently. E-mail her at
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