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Something Tragic Happens to Herman's Hermits

I spot Herman's Hermits after their concert and promptly beg them for an autograph. They sign: "To our #1 fan. Love, Herman's Hermits." I tell them that I need to hear the words, and they say, "Okay. We love you. Thanks for being our No. 1 fan." And I say, if you love me then take me with you. That's when they dash inside their tour bus and furiously speed away.

As I hang on to the side-view mirror, I demand over the roaring engine for them to serenade me with their most popular songs. I hear shouting, "Let's bloody sing to get rid of this mental." Finally, the beautiful music of Herman's Hermits begins to play. "No!" I tell them, "do the one that I like." After several failed attempts, they ask which song I mean. "You know, the one that goes, ‘Hey, hey, we're the Monkees ...'" The bus jerks to a halt. Herman's Hermits exit and patiently explain they are the singers of the pop classic "I'm Into Something Good," not the band I think. "Too bad," I say, "you just lost your No. 1 Fan!" I leave, not before I slash a few of their bus tires, though.

Here's an approach to—ugh!—interior decoration that even those Man Law guys would endorse: flattened beer bottles. Artistically flattened beer bottles. The company Key West Bottles (puzzlingly found online at californiabottles.com) uses a 22-hour "secret process" to heat and flatten bottles, leaving the label intact, after which they can be used as cutting boards or just hung on the wall. For $10, you can pick up Corona, Heineken, Red Stripe, Rolling Rock; you can also send your own fave for special flattening. If this all seems too déclassé for someone as sophisticated as you, the company also does wine bottles.

... Rock Critic: A slightly hoarse Roger Daltrey admitted to a case of "Vegas throat" Friday night at the Mandalay Bay Events Center, but his comrade in The Who, Pete Townshend, hasn't sung better in years, even hitting the high notes on "Don't cry/Don't raise your eye" in "Baba O'Riley." Townshend's shadowy "Eminence Front" stood out among older tunes (even with a road tech sitting in for the band's absent keyboard player), as did a set-capping tramp through "Won't Get Fooled Again." But the real news was the Vegas debut of material from 24-years-in-the-making new album Endless Wire. Live, those songs—six-part mini-opera "Wire & Glass" and five stand-alone numbers—pulsed with an energy often missing from their studio takes.

... Fast-Food Critic: McDonald's has again reintroduced its McRib sandwich, once more raising the question: Why? But, deep in your belly, in places you don't like to talk about, you know why. The McRib is the very definition of grub: Like the word "grub," it's kind of homely—a patty of what you suspect is vat-grown pork that's never been near an actual rib bone, bathed in an aggressive barbecue sauce and topped with pickles and onion. But, perversely, that's also its appeal, isn't it? Like your libido and your intellect, sometimes your taste buds demand their tawdry pleasures, too.

Inside The Actors Studio: Dave Chappelle


(PG, $14.98) (4 stars)

The interview show, once essential to TV's repertoire, has fallen on hard times. With rare exceptions, hosts have been reduced to pimping whatever their subject is plugging that day. Despite James Lipton's famously goofy technique, Bravo's Inside the Actors Studio has no trouble getting A-list guests to offer insights rarely shared elsewhere. Dave Chappelle used the forum to explain why he defected from his lucrative Comedy Central gig and his even more mysterious escape to Africa. Chappelle probably knew he would find a sympathetic audience in Lipton and his students, but the two-hour session revealed him to be extremely generous, candid, reflective and in a very funny mood. The bonus material is made up of footage edited for time reasons. Also newly available is Inside the Actors Studio: Icons, in which Lipton alternately probes and fawns over Paul Newman, Robert Redford, Barbra Streisand and Clint Eastwood, to very good effect.