I walked by Cleopatra’s Barge for some luck; little did I know the busty bar queen had just received a new set of knockers. Copping a feel on those wooden mammaries has long been a favorite gesture for gamers angling for a little superstitious help (second only to Caesar’s big toe), along with awkward stares from passersby. On this day though, they had fresh paint—it appears a boob job was in order to begin the $1 billion addition process to Caesars Palace. I hoped it meant a little extra fortitude for me. It didn’t.
The only thing I knew about bocce ball before Saturday was that my grandfather used to play it. Coupled with the fact that the only time I had been up before noon on a weekend was when I hadn’t slept yet, the invite to participate in a tournament, while flattering, started to sound less than appealing.
After paying my respects to Cleopatra, I headed to Rao’s, where my spirits were immediately lifted. Involved in this little bocce bracket were the dancers from the Pussycat Dolls Casino, waitresses from Venus Pool Club and the Shadow Bar dancers. Things got even more sweet since Tony Abou-Ganim, the Modern Mixologist, was making bellinis. Then Robin Leach and hypnotist Anthony Cools showed up to get in the game, followed by news personality Jason Feinberg. I had no idea bocce was this cool; my granddad must have known what he was doing.
The outfits the gals were wearing didn’t leave much to the imagination, and while we men were baking in the 105-degree heat on the patio, I still managed to conjure up a few thoughts. As for the bikinis promised to me by the head PR honcho, all he had to do was direct my focus over to the pool. This was a perfect way to spend a Saturday morning: The bellini officially dethroned the mimosa and bloody Mary as my preferred hair of the dog; my hangover stopped screaming; and a hint of a buzz started to whisper. Southern Wine & Spirits sponsored the event, so Abou-Ganim’s divine libations were free-flowing.
I was teamed up with Audrey from Venus, and we were fortunate to grab a first-round bye. Apparently she was quite the ringer in warm-ups, and we were sitting pretty in the semifinals without having to do anything. And since I had never picked up a bocce ball in my life, I needed the help.
The game was explained to me as a mix between bowling and shuffleboard, two sports I only excelled at while drinking copious amounts of alcohol. Abou-Ganim handed me another bellini. The smaller ball, called a pallina or boccino depending on where you are from (us Yanks refer to it as a Jack), is rolled first. Essentially each team tries to roll their balls closest to the Jack, thus scoring points. Most games are played to 13, but we all played to eight because we were not that good.
Abou-Ganim swept through the competition with partner Jenn from Shadow Bar and was the first and last match I had for the day. Thanks to Audrey, we jumped out to a quick 6-0 lead and looked well on our way to the finals. Then we started to slip. I was hitting Audrey’s shots out of position, and Abou-Ganim and Jenn were mounting a fierce comeback. I couldn’t figure out what was happening. When I expressed my frustration to Abou-Ganim, he comforted me with another bellini. And another—he was such a good sport. Then it hit me: This was the tricky bastard’s plan of attack! He was getting me loopy in the sun. It worked, too—we lost 8-6. He and Jenn then rode that train to oust the master Ron Straci (who was the one teaching us how to play) and his partner Brooke in the finals.
Win, lose or drunk, the day was an absolute riot. No word yet if the tournament is going to become a regular thing, but the bocce court is open anytime Rao’s is, and apparently Abou-Ganim left his bellini recipe at the bar. Bocce is my new favorite Saturday pool party; but next time I’ll spend a little more time with Cleopatra.
Justin Jimenez firmly believes we should draft beer, not people. And he always sees better through the bottom of an empty glass. The associate editor for Las Vegas Magazine, he can be reached at [email protected].