Happiness not guaranteed: Part 3
4) Keeping track of your thoughts (continued)
As I mentioned in the last column, part of the most grueling work required in being happy is keeping track of the 60,000 thoughts you have every day. I mean, you literally have to think about the thoughts you’re thinking. Interesting, huh? And the worst part is for some reason most people are preconditioned to expect or think the worst. In fact, I hear that a lot. “Expect the worst, and hope for the best.” Only you can be assured that typically expecting the worst will bring you nothing but the worst.
Try to eliminate worrying about situations that could really have any outcome. Spending time trying to solve a problem that may not even exist isn’t going to do you any good. People are really big on “what ifs.” I think “what ifs” should be banned from the continent.
“What if they didn’t like me?”
“What if I gave the wrong answer?”
“What if I get fired?”
“What if I can’t afford to …”
Until the time comes, DON’T GO THERE. There’s no better way to sabotage your future, cloud up your thoughts, and completely deter a positive, happy attitude. If you’re fretting about the fact that in six months you may not be able to afford that vacation you’re after, you need to re-examine your thoughts.
Who says you’re not going to get promoted? Who says you’re not going to pay off some debt that will free up your cash? Who says you won’t get offered your dream job as a side job? There’s so much opportunity in life that people are just conditioned away from realizing. Spend that six months in a negative state already dooming your vacation and it’s a self fulfilling prophecy. Instead, spend that six months excited about the opportunities that can come your way and you’ll just happen to be a little more tuned into them. You kind of get what you’re looking for. And you’ll always, always find it.
This works with short term goals too, but keep in mind the longer you spent worrying about something, the longer you need to spend being positive about it. So don’t expect two years of a negative outlook to completely disappear when you engage in two positive weeks. I’m not saying changes will be on hold for an entire two years, but it takes a little while to change your thinking entirely and consistently.
4) You have to persevere 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
The last part of understanding happiness is guaranteed to no one, is understanding it doesn’t come in the blink of an eye. Consistent drug use or consistent alcohol use, like that of young Hollywood these days, is an instant gratification substitution for happiness. It’s filling the void because they’re not doing the work to actually eliminate the void. But that’s common -- happiness shouldn’t take work, right? It “should” be in pill or liquid form. Like diet products. And maybe it is, for an hour or two. But DUI charges, vehicular manslaughter (remember those cases with some other celebrities) and alcoholism isn’t my idea of a good time. Not to say everyone who drinks is filling a void. However, when it’s out of control on a regular basis, it certainly is.
Remember, not much is guaranteed in life. Your life, your happiness -- those are up to you.
Precocious entrepreneur, workaholic and a rabid perfectionist Crystal Starlight is a pro right down the line. Email her at [email protected]