I recently learned that Binion’s has opened a new lounge called Boomer’s. This caught my attention because I happen to frequent a watering hole that is also called Boomers—a divey bar located on a dark and scary stretch of Sirius Avenue, where most Sundays I stop by to watch the local stand-up show. This Sunday, I decided to visit both bars back-to-back to compare them. This is what happened:
7:35 p.m.: I stroll into the apostrophe-less Boomers a little earlier than usual for a special event. John Hilder, one of the first local comics I ever saw perform, is departing for the great state of Utah, and his buddies have decided to see him off with some good-natured ribbing in the form of a roast. Before I even cross the room to the bar, Jess the bartender has uncapped a Corona and set it on the counter for me. She has all of her patrons and their signature drinks committed to memory.
11:52 p.m.: I dash into Binion’s searching for the new Boomer’s, which closes at the oddly unlounge-like hour of midnight. My friend asks a casino employee where we might find the place, and she doesn’t have a clue what we’re talking about. A nearby bartender eventually remembers and gives us directions through the casino floor.
•••••
8:30 p.m.: The comedy show in the back room was supposed to start half an hour ago, but we’re all still hanging out in the main bar. This is par for the course at Boomers. Comics and audience members alike are all good friends, and the show tends to start when it starts. Jess orders a stack of pizzas, and everyone helps themselves. Finally, the roastmaster announces that the show is about to begin. The crowd slowly makes its way into the back room.
11:55 p.m.: We’ve found Boomer’s, but I’m too taken aback to make my way inside. The “lounge” is essentially a dimly lit corner of the casino, with a couple of steps leading down to about 20 small tables with mismatched ballroom chairs. There are only a handful of people present, with two men on the dance floor—Eyepatch Guy and Guy Who Thinks He’s Auditioning for an Unspecified Musical. I believe the charitable term would be “freak show.”
•••••
9:40 p.m.: The comedy show is underway. A good chunk of the dais have already taken their shots at Mr. Hilder and each other, and the laughs have been frequent. A comic who goes by the name of the Balloon Master (due to his uncanny ability to craft obscene images out of inflated rubber) ends his bit with a 21-dick salute, dumping a garbage bag filled with 21 balloon phalluses on the roastee’s head.
11:58 p.m.: I think to myself that 21 balloon penises might actually dress up this place. The lounge’s sign is made out of flimsy plastic, and on closer inspection, I wouldn’t be surprised to find it thumb-tacked to the wall. I’ve finally summoned the courage to make my way into the center of the room, but there isn’t a whole lot to do there.
•••••
11:35 p.m.: I close out my tab as the roast finally ends. Because I didn’t want to miss Mr. Hilder’s comedic vengeance, I now have less than 30 minutes to find and experience Boomer’s Lounge before it closes. It’s a shame to have to rush off, too, since the post-show drunken antics of the comedians can extend the entertainment into the wee hours of the morning.
12:02 a.m.: The DJ in the corner cuts off the lousy ’70s disco music he was playing midsong. Guess that means it’s closing time. I spent four hours at Boomers After Hours and five minutes at Boomer’s Lounge, and that seems about right—their names may be similar but they have nothing else in common.
Boomers After Hours
3200 Sirius Ave.
368-1863
Boomer’s Lounge
Binion’s Gambling Hall & Hotel
382-1600