1
Siegfried and Roy hint at return to showbiz. A nice dove act, we hope.
2
LV-like city planned in Europe. Complete with super-realistic home-foreclosure rate!
3
Mayor says LV will join five-city effort to battle childhood obesity. “Kids, what I meant was, use low-fat gin.”
4
Nevada State students to rally against Guv’s education cuts. Says student, “If he won’t listen to financial experts and high-ranking state officials, perhaps he’ll listen to us!”
5
School District only one among top 10 to meet No Child Left Behind standards. Time to spend $9.5 billion on new schools.
6
BYU invited to Las Vegas Bowl for third time. Romney asks for GOP caucus to be rescheduled to halftime.
7
State says tax revenue falling even further behind. To hell with this, we’re moving to European Las Vegas.
8
With writers on strike, Samuel L. Jackson to ad-lib speech at LV game awards. Luckily, “motherf--ker” writes itself.