Let’s imagine the most prominent B-movie actor of his generation screened a self-deprecating work-in-progress at CineVegas. Perhaps it occurred at 11 p.m. the evening of June 9, 2007. “Tonight you are going to see the world premiere of this film,” said actor may have promised. “No one has ever seen this film before…in Nevada…at this theater…tonight.” Said actor may or may not have conducted an interview with and appeared as an illustration on the cover of the current Weekly, then theoretically issued a trickle-down decree that press members were forbidden to review the film in question. Press members might hypothetically wonder why, as some special effects and music could be all that’s missing; moreover, the in-question film could be considered a quite-humorous success, one that potentially cements said actor in cinematic history as a good-natured, self-branding genius. Alas, the world may never know.
In addition, some of the riveting conjecture at the alleged post-screening Q&A may have including the following:
- Can I bring you a birthday card?
- In a fight who would win, you or a Velociraptor?
- Throughout all your films, why have you deprived your fans of what they most want: a full-frontal-nudity scene?
- A disrespectful rule-breaker who writes for City Life. Or perhaps for the R-J. But certainly not for the Weekly.