With the release of Live Free or Die Hard, the fourth Die Hard film, we wondered, is the franchise over? Hardly! Already in development:
Die Hard With Arthritis: McClane, now retired, must spring back into action to save his grandchildren from a plot the screenwriters don’t bother to describe. He must also fight an even deadlier villain—his aching joints. He has a short time to save his family before he misses that evening’s Wheel of Fortune.
Illustration by Jerry Miller
Live Old or Die Hard: McClane hands in his gun and badge once again as his children place him in an old-age home. There he discovers a plot to viciously short-sheet the oldsters, led by vivacious nurse Beyonce. The scheme fails when her curvy appeal has no effect on McClane’s dwindled testosterone.
Dying—Seriously, I’m Dying: McClane is extremely old, and he passes away gently in his sleep, although, oddly, the script calls for gunfire. The scene at the pearly gates is so awesomely explosive that McClane and God both yell, “Yippee ki-yay!”