The realities of having a vagin

Las Vegas Little Red Book: A Girl's Guide to the Perfect Getaway is a how-to on pampering, shopping, and whooping it up which basically states that the key to this city is owning a vagina. Though it's not an assertion that I, as a keeper of a vagina and reaper of benefits because of it, will argue, the book is full of little white lies.

When will someone write the book explaining that no, girls, you won't be getting your hair done next to Paris; you won't be dining with A-list celebrities; and strip clubs after 3 a.m. aren't sexy, they're full of drunken frat boys who're so horny they actually think they're going to score with a dancer and will treat you like garbage because of it? The most practical, realistic advice in the book is to bring moisturizer, and common sense.

For once it might be nice to see a Vegas guidebook mention for-real fun outside of our few miles of neon, or for that matter any guidebook for women that doesn't constantly refer to us as vixens and divas and you-go-girls. A vagina will get you through a line faster, sure, but that's all the more time you have to spend inside the club getting it groped.