For those who think the time to tout your kid’s hotness begins when she fills out that striking rhinestone-encrusted onesie, it’s time to recalibrate your twisted ideas. Cute now begins at conception. Thanks to local companies such as Baby’s First Image, who use 3D and 4D ultrasound scanning to shoot your unborn’s fetal glamour shots, you can practically view all those sexy cells dividing.
In the second trimester or beyond, Mama lies down on an orthopedic bed and baby does all the work, improvising a play for an audience of up to 10 as images of him or her squirming around the womb are projected onto a large screen. Watch as he kicks in a display of brawn! Raise an eyebrow as she suggestively sucks her thumb!
The downside to this procedure is that shy ones won’t look up to face the camera; the outright antisocial turn and face the spine. Since the Supreme Court just ruled against partial birth abortions, you can’t terminate these duds. And once you know you won’t have a beauty pageant contestant on your hands, you have no choice but to whip out the books and start reading to your bump.