Here’s my theory: Taylor Hicks was the gateway drug which led to America’s addiction to Sanjaya. See, on American Idol, Taylor Hicks had a Taylor Schtick: that unrestrained Joe Cocker impersonation, those drunk uncle dance moves and, of course, the ever-vexing salt ’n’ pepper hair. His charisma complemented his devil-may-care ’tude, and lo and behold, Hicks was crowned Season 5’s champeen. Finally free of belting divas, America was on high, and so with Season 6, we craved more. Sundance Head and Chris Sligh were Hick-ocrites. Our dependence on ridiculousness had taken hold, and a hit of Hicks wouldn’t do it anymore—we needed something truly ludicrous. And ludicrousness we found in Sanjaya Malakar. An underage Indian who didn’t care he couldn’t sing? A nonchalant karaokester who didn’t even try? Soon, America was shooting up Sanjaya. He was on our Entertainment Tonights; he was in our In Touches. He replaced Grey’s Anatomy as water-cooler fodder. Just like that, America O.D.’d. So thank you, Taylor Hicks, for opening the floodgate, and kudos to you for not drowning in hype. –Kristyn Pomranz
Taylor Hicks. May 5, 8 p.m., $30-$35. House of Blues, 632-7600.