Las Vegas

FABULOUS LAS VEGAS

By John Katsilometes

You might be wondering what a wild Memorial Day weekend in Vegas might entail. Or involve. Whatever, over the weekend I visited the Fantastic Indoor Swap Meet on South Decatur Boulevard and Oakey Boulevard. The actual address is 1717 S. Decatur Blvd., but the best way to convey the location of this vast haven of cut-rate crapola is to drive head north on Decatur from Sahara Avenue and look east.

Soon you notice a blocklong red shingle roof with the words “It’s …Fantastik” in 12-foot tall white letters nailed to the side (the “k” in “Fantastik” to be a kind of zany-ironic way to draw attention, I guess). You can’t miss this place, nor should you. Here, for just a $1 entry fee, you can wade through what amounts to the largest garage sale you will ever see (go to www.fantasticindoorswapmeet.com for details on the Swap-A-Dome).

A few more notable booths offered puppies (just puppies), shakes (where a sign informed, “Ask About Our Layaway Program!”), little pink pigs made of fake jade, hand-crafted jewelry of all varieties, brass Buddhas, semiautomatic pellet guns, Che Guevara commemorative T-shirts (whether anyone browsing the booth could discern Che Guevara from Chita Rivera is irrelevant; the caricature could have been of either legendary figure) and gleaming silver machetes slipped into ornate leather sheaths.

We spent about an hour roaming the space, which seems about as large as McCarran International Airport and teeming with as many hurried people. Somewhere between the booth featuring “As Seen On TV” shammies and another pushing “Just Nutss,” I called out to those standing around me, “I will give you $3,500 for everything in this place!” But later I found that there was indeed a single booth selling its full lot of gag lighters and Vegas playing cards and feather dusters for $25,000. As far as I know there were no takers.

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On our menus: Four Kegs at 267 N. Jones Blvd. (at U.S. 95) has long been known for its strombolis, pizzas and wings. The earthy sports pub, which opened in 1977, was recently featured on the Food Network’s “Diners, Dives and Drive-Ins.” So they know a lot about serving good bar food, and the dinner menu lists, simply, “2 Grilled Pork Chops” for $7.95. You get a choice of one side dish. One is beans.

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Wonder what the crew at the new Planet Hollywood (formerly Aladdin) resort thought of this odd bit of product placement: Upon being fined for attempting to illegally carry 12 vials of human growth hormone (HGH, to the uninitiated) into Australia, Sylvester Stallone greeted the media horde in Sydney while wearing a black T-shirt emblazoned with the unmistakable “PH” logo. He looked in great shape, too. Wonder how he does it.

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Vegas moment: An older gentleman napping at Las Vegas Athletic Club on Maryland Parkway. He was operating a leg-extension machine and just checked out for a bit.

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Careful what you wish for, eh? One of the casino representatives who spoke out last week against Gov. Jim Gibbons’ proposal to funnel hotel room taxes to fund Nevada’s roads was Station Casinos executive Glenn Christenson, who, according to Friday’s Review-Journal, called Gibbons’ proposals, “one-off, ill-conceived, Band-Aid approaches to solving these problems.” You might remember, or not, that Station backed Gibbons in his confounding victory over Dina Titus in November’s gubernatorial election, and that Gibbons’ Vegas victory party was held at Red Rock Resort.

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Wishing well: A plate on a gray Toyota Camry reads, WISHLST.

Fabulous Las Vegas appears daily (well, almost) at this Web site. John Katsilometes can be reached at 990-7720, 812-9812 or at [email protected]

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