1. Rihanna, “Umbrella.” From Rihanna’s upcoming Good Girl Gone Bad CD, and the first great single of the impending summer: a blast of swaggering funk, as powerful (if not quite as frenetic) as Jay-Z’s “99 Problems,” with a beat that is essentially Aerosmith’s “Walk This Way” turned inside out. Stupidly criticized on previous efforts for lacking the vocal pyrotechnics of Beyoncé or Christina, Rihanna has never before sounded so self-assured. She puts this over with a quiet but unwavering confidence, and you can’t help but think that her other hits have been mere preludes to this moment. (Rating: 4.5 out of 5.0)
2. Lloyd, “Get it Shawty.” Nimble, eerie-sounding R&B from Atlanta, with frigid keyboard stabs and hushed falsetto vocals. As with so many other electro-based R&B tracks of recent (see Fergie’s “Glamorous” and Cassie’s “Me & U”), “Get it Shawty” is more memorable for its atmosphere than for its tune or its lyrics. What I suspect is supposed to strike me as “sexy” ends up striking me instead as something kind of blank and mysterious ... and oddly quite beautiful. (4.0) (myspace.com/lloyd)
3. McFly, “Transylvania.” UK pop-punk pipsqueaks stumble upon their older brothers’ prog-rock collections and respond with a dazzlingly ambitious mini-epic that may or may not be about the beheading of Henry VIII’s second wife. Thankfully, the song’s pomp-rock splendor is leavened with an impassioned teen-beat chirpiness; the chorus is about as pretentious as Hanson or the Osmonds. (4.0) (myspace.com/mcfly)
4, Tim McGraw (with Faith Hill), “I Need You.” This hubby-wife country duet employs the most clichéd of rhyming schemes: “I need you/like a [blank] needs a [blank].” I guess we should just be thankful that Tim needs Faith “like a needle needs a vein” instead of a thread (better a drug cliché than a sewing cliché, I always say). The music is its own kind of cliché as well, but an undeniably charming one: easy-rolling summer breeziness, with two fine voices professing “sweet addiction” to one another. (3.5)
5. Audio Club, “Sumthin’ Serious.” An altogether different type of duet: a nerdy guy/hot babe combo (he raps, she sings—duh) that sounds like a dirty South equivalent of Aqua. The music is extravagant and grossly overcalculated. The hooks come at you so fast and from so many different angles, you start to feel like they’re jabbing you in the ribs with “fun.” Still, I can’t lie: I hum along every damn time. (3.0) (myspace.com/audioclubuk)
6. Paolo Nutini, “New Shoes.” Twee but lively busker-pop from Scotland, currently rising up Billboard’s Hot 100. Not, unfortunately, a tribute to the ’80s dance group Nu Shooz, but rather an honest-to-God tribute to, yup, personal footwear. Mundane, but not un-catchy. (3.0) (myspace.com/paolonutini)
7. Daddy Yankee (featuring Fergie), “El Impacto.” I must’ve previewed this wannabe reggaeton crossover 15 times last week, and all that sticks is the repeating vocoder riff: “Domo arigato/Mr. El Impacto!” Cool. The rest whizzes by anonymously and tediously. (2.5) (myspace.com/daddyyankee)
8. Dan le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip, “Thou Shalt Always Kill.” This underground UK novelty hit follows a formula similar to LCD Soundsystem’s terrific 2002 novelty hit, “Losing My Edge”: Some wankster over an Atari-hop beat throws out one exhortation after another. Unfortunately, these exhortations add up to precisely squat, and in the end the whole thing is less an amusing string of non sequiturs than an exercise in lazy-ass hipsterism. Not a bad day’s work by the Atari, however. (2.0) (myspace.com/lesacvspip)
9. Kelly Clarkson, “Never Again.” The pop-punk formula she aced with “Since U Been Gone” takes a sharp turn here, and the warble in her voice on some of the early lines is shiver-inducing (in a good way). The rest of it is off-putting: The arrangement feels choppy, and there’s a minor-key insistence in the melody that the sheen of the production not only can’t atone for but actually highlights. Cathartic for her, a bit joyless for the rest of us. (2.0)
10. Maroon 5, “Makes Me Wonder.” Drearily cheery pop-funk-a-roll that recently leap-frogged past Justin and Gwen all the way to No. 1. Admittedly breezier than irritating 2005 hit “This Love,” but still disconcertingly eager to please. On a charitable day, I’d call it second-tier Simply Red, minus the cool floppy hair. (At least I don’t think these guys have cool floppy hair; if they do, you can adjust my rating upward by half a point.) (1.5)