November 15
BROADBAND THEATRE Emperors Ballroom, 5 p.m. Apparently there’s funny stuff on the InterWebs these days. Who knew?
KIMS OF COMEDY WITH STEVE BYRNE, BOBBY LEE, DR. KEN JEONG AND KEVIN SHEA Augustus Ballroom, 7 p.m. The ringtone version of Byrne’s “Mac-and-Cheese” bit is the single greatest incoming-call alert concerning noodles and oral sex ever. Trust us.
ELLEN’S REALLY BIG SHOW A Vegas Variety Special Presented by Ellen DeGeneres The Colosseum, 7:30 p.m. Lemme guess: She dances at some point?
TIM & ERIC AWESOME SHOW LIVE! Emperors Ballroom, 8 p.m. Who?! What?! Don’t know nothin’ about them! But it still sounds exciting!
FRANK CALIENDO: ALL OVER THE PLACE Palace Ballroom, 9:30 p.m. Or, Where We’ve Been Forced to Listen to that Never-Ending John Madden Impression of His.
BRIAN POSEHN’S COMEDY ROCK SHOW WITH REGGIE WATTS, MIKE O’CONNELL AND DRAGON BOY SUEDE Augustus Ballroom, 10 p.m. Sure, it’ll be a killer show, but we’ll still never forgive Zach Galifianakis for dropping out, making room for this.
ARTIE LANGE Augustus Ballroom, 11:59 p.m. Go ahead, take a completely wild stab at which show will rake in the highest alcohol sales.
November 16
UNPROTECTED SKETCH Emperors Ballroom, 5 p.m. With Hot Tub Variety Show’s Kurt and Kristen at the helm, this showcase promises to be quirky, edgy and, as the name implies, delightfully dirty.
JERRY SEINFELD The Colosseum, 8 p.m. Yeah, Seinfeld’s here for two nights, whatever. The real news will be next time he comes back and sets foot on Bette Midler’s new turf. It’ll be like The Improv vs. Rochelle, Rochelle: The Musical all over again.
BLUE COLLAR COMEDY: THE NEXT GENERATION Hosted by Bill Engvall Palace Ballroom, 8 p.m. With any luck, soon followed by Blue Collar Comedy: The Final Generation.
RUSSELL SIMMONS’ DEF COMEDY JAM. Augustus Ballroom, 8 p.m. The HBO smash that launched 1,000 Eddie Murphy rip-offs is back, with more stereotype-enforcing yuks than ever!
THE ANDY KAUFMAN AWARD Emperors Ballroom, 10 p.m. Now that we’ve stolen this little gem away from the New York Comedy Festival, we’re going to put a little Elvis-impersonating, women-wrestlin’, milk-and-cookies-feeding class back into the Institution.
NICK SWARDSON AND JAMIE KENNEDY Augustus Ballroom, 10:30 p.m. Kennedy Rollin’ with Saget: Thumbs up. Kennedy attacking Weekly critic Josh Bell in his Heckler doc: Thumbs down. And on a completely unrelated note: Remember when Nick Swardson was the Barq’s Root Beer spokesboy? Those were the days.
CHRIS ROCK The Colosseum, 11 p.m. Last year’s Comedian Award recipient debuts a whole new set of material. You know, his stand-up’s great and all, but when are we gonna see a Pootie Tang 2?
CHELSEA HANDLER AND JIM BREUER Palace Ballroom, 11:59 p.m. May we present the oddest Festival pairing of the year ...
November 17
BROADBAND THEATRE Emperors Ballroom, 5 p.m. Broader and bandier the second time around!
WANDA SYKES Augustus Ballroom, 7:30 p.m. She’s also debuting a whole new set of material. Good thing, because her recent-ish Sick and Tired was not enough of the former and too much of the latter.
TIM MINCHIN: FROM DOWN UNDER Emperors Ballroom, 7:30 p.m. To steal a joke from comic Max Lance: Does this mean the Aussie’s career will go down the toilet in the opposite direction?
JERRY SEINFELD The Colosseum, 8 p.m. Insert “double dipping” joke here ...
BILL BURR, MARC MARON AND DANA GOULD Palace Ballroom, 8 p.m. Burr hit it big on Chappelle’s Show, Gould spent six years writing for Matt Groening on The Simpsons, and Maron once believed he was the Son of God. You couldn’t find a more top-notch bunch of second bananas.
JOY BEHAR AND KEVIN NEALON Palace Ballroom, 10 p.m. Recount! May we present the oddest Festival pairing of the decade ...
EDDIE IZZARD Augustus Ballroom, 10 p.m. Miss out on this amazing Brit get and you should be sentenced to life in the front row of a Gallagher show.
CHRIS ROCK The Colosseum, 11 p.m. If Everybody Hates Chris so much, just how is he packing ’em in for a second, 4,148-capacity show?
HOT TAMALES LIVE! Palace Ballroom, 11:59 p.m. Jessica Kirson, aka the single funniest female on the New York comedy scene today (you’d be hard-pressed to find a better baby-hating bit), appears on this estrogen-heavy extravaganza. Bonus fun fact: Her step-brother is Zach Braff!
STEPHEN LYNCH Augustus Ballroom, 11:59 p.m. Rockin’ guitar riffs + bawdy lyrics + forehead-scaling eyebrows + Tony Award nomination = something closely approximating the Second Coming of Spinal Tap.
Tickets and additional information available at www.thecomedyfestival.com.
*As annotated by Julie Seabaugh