Meat Loaf and Bon Jovi are up there, but when it comes to back catalogs of over-karaoked hit songs, Billy Joel is a definite Big Shot.
8. “She’s Always a Woman” (The Stranger, 1977) Except when she’s forced to hide out in the men’s room to avoid your weepy, drunken slurring.
7. “My Life” (52nd St., 1978) The part where everyone shouts, “But not on my time!” is cool, but the remainder is too often ruined by the inability of the frat dude at the mic to convince anyone he truly wants to stick it to the Man.
6. “It’s Still Rock and Roll to Me” (Glass Houses, 1980) Hot funk? Cool punk? Best file under: old junk.
5. “The River of Dreams” (River of Dreams, 1993) The falsettos are the audience’s cue to administer duct tape with extreme prejudice.
4. “Uptown Girl” (An Innocent Man, 1983) No awkward dancing! Unless you’re Christie Brinkley!
3. “Just the Way You Are” (The Stranger, 1977) Too slow, too swoony, too lowering-the-bar-in-terms-of-future-relationship-satisfaction-y.
2. “Piano Man” (Piano Man, 1973) “Sing us a song, you’re the piano man/Sing us a song tonight/Well we’re all in the mood for a melody/And you’ve got us feelin’ all right.” Hey, Mr. Overweight Businessman Soused on Screwdrivers, we’re talking to Billy, not you.
1. “We Didn’t Start the Fire” (Storm Front, 1989) Actually, if you’ve conquered this musical mountain peak, get your rock-star self out of this joint and signed up for American Idol, pronto.
Billy Joel. November 17, 8 p.m., $78.75-$183.75. MGM Grand Garden Arena, 891-7777.