Celebrity Stalking
I want to talk to everyone today about a very serious subject. It should not be taken lightly. It happens more often than you think, and the world should be prepared.
Last Sunday I was stalked by celebrities.
Everything started out normal; a typical Christmas shopping trip at Fashion Show mall. While glancing at stores and restaurants and making our way to the end of the mall I ran into UFC fighter Tito Ortiz. My boyfriend quickly noticed him walking toward us, not even a foot to my right.
“Tito!”
“What’s up, man.”
No one stopped walking. Just a casual comment and nod; a passing encounter as we all kept walking to our separate ends of the mall. (If you’re new to Vegas and have not been to Fashion Show it’s the size of Africa.)
Twenty minutes passed and Chad and I headed up to the food court. The mall was busy this Sunday but the food court was rather deserted. I love people watching so I was quite delighted when a lone character wandered into my scenery.
“Chad, look behind you at that girl.”
As we were eating, a single blonde, supremely skinny girl shuffled across the food court, head down, obviously uncomfortable at just being alive.
“Gross, she’s skinny. Whoa … Tito Ortiz is sitting behind you. And that girl is walking over to him—it’s Jenna Jameson.”
I turned around to see Tito a few yards away.
“WEIRD. We were on the total other end of the mall from him.”
I took a brief look around.
“And I think we’re the only ones in this food court.”
We left promptly and had one more store to hit on our way out of the mall. I don’t know why so many people get so excited about Victoria’s Secret; they have 500 bras and they all look the same or are complete novelty items. I managed to waste a half hour before just leaving empty handed.
“Where’d we come in? By Neiman Marcus? I forget.”
We headed toward the department store and almost made it before looking up to see a rather large man and skinny blonde ahead; walking toward us so close we both had to move a bit out of the way. Of all the places in this mall. I couldn’t help it, I laughed out loud. Partly because this constant proximity thing was so freaking weird and partially because Tito felt so weird he quickly averted his eyes and pretended to look into the window of a handbag store until we passed.
Tito Ortiz, ladies and gentleman: a “Coach” man at heart.
Or just a calculating stalker.
Truly, who knows ….
Precocious entrepreneur, workaholic and a rabid perfectionist Crystal Starlight knows a thing or two about getting ahead at a young age. Email her at [email protected]