The staff speaks: Our own ‘best-of’ buffet

By the Las Vegas Weekly staff

One of the chief differences in this Vegas “best of” list and others in competing publications is: no Olive Garden.

Another important distinction is, you will find this list exclusively online.

Adhering solely to our own fertile imaginations, the Las Vegas Weekly staff has compiled its own “Staff Speaks” list of Las Vegas favorites. This is a complement to the annual Readers’ Choice awards that appear in the latest issue of Las Vegas Weekly. Here, and only here, will you find “best of” awards to such varied Vegas attractions as the front door of the Downtown Cocktail Room and the top level of the parking garage at McCarran International Airport. The late (Buffalo Jim Barrier) and great (Tom Jones) are given equally laudatory treatment.

Contributing to this project were staffers Josh Bell, Sarah Feldberg, Jennifer Grafiada, John Katsilometes, Joshua Longobardy, Spencer Patterson, Aaron Thompson and Xania Woodman.

The list:

Best Place To Observe The Undercarriage Of A Boeing 737: Town Square

The new south Strip retail development sits squarely under the flight path of jets landing at McCarran International Airport. The shopping and restaurants are the least of the attractions. http://www.townsquarelasvegas.com/ (John Katsilometes)

Best Vegas Souvenir That Has Suddenly Vaulted In Value: A wooden nickel bearing the likeness of Buffalo Jim Barrier (J.K.) Las Vegas Sun photo

Best Vegas Mascot who Looks Like He’s Taking HGH: UNLV’s Hey Reb

Back story: Long ago, when Hey Reb was introduced as UNLV’s new mascot, I commented that he looked like he was on steroids. I was summarily admonished by a member of UNLV’s sports marketing team, a man named Bert Cooper, who wrote me a terse but thoughtful note saying NO Rebel mascot would ever take steroids. But a decade later, Hey Reb still looks like he’s been hanging out at Casa de Canseco. (J.K.) Las Vegas Sun photo

Best Bar Entrance: The well-disguised silver door at the Downtown Cocktail Room. The mystery entrance keeps the uninitiated (and random riffraff) from entering the club at 111 Las Vegas Boulevard, just across from Hennessey’s Tavern at Fremont East. 880-3696. (J.K.)

Best Play Off The ‘What Happens Here, Stays Here” Ad Campaign: "What happens in Estonia, stays in Estonia.” From Hilary Clinton spokesman Philippe Reines, when asked about a long-rumored vodka-shot competition waged between Clinton and John McCain during a 2004 diplomatic junket to through the Baltic states. (J.K.)

Best Proposed New Nickname From Disgruntled Tropicana Employees For The Las Vegas 51s: The Las Vegas BedBugz. (J.K.)

Best “Only In Vegas” Moment (Boxing Division): Tom Jones singing the Welsh national anthem at the Joe Calzaghe-Bernanrd Hopkins title bout at the Thomas & Mack Center on April 19. (J.K.)

Best Vegas Entertainment, Per-Dollar-Value: Las Vegas Wranglers hockey To the untrained eye, it looks enough like the NHL to hold your attention, and the Wranglers are perennial Kelly Cup contenders. And, to pull a line from Slap Shot, “Any fool can fight.” 471-7825. http://www.lasvegaswranglers.com/ (J.K.)

Best Former Strip Production: Avenue Q. Some unsuspecting visitors to the adult-targeted production at Wynn Las Vegas failed to fully appreciate the nastiest, funniest puppet show ever. (J.K.)  Courtesy photo

Best Off-Strip Production/Act/Performer: Tribute band Yellow Brick Road. Ozzy Osbourne’s “Crazy Train” shares a set list with Queen’s “Bohemaian Rhapsody.” What’s not to love? Brody Dolyniuk and the boys are the house band Fridays and Saturdays beginning at 11 p.m. at Boulder Station’s Railhead. http://www.ybrband.com/ (J.K.)

Best Morning Radio Personality: Dennis Mitchell, host of Breakfast With the Beatles. Mitchell is keeping the band’s legacy alive on 40 radio stations across the U.S., including KUNV 91.5-FM, at 7 a.m. Saturdays. http://www.beatlesradioshow.com/ (J.K.)

Best O.J. Simpson Revelation From The Book Busted!: According to author and memorabilia dealer Thomas Riccio, “The Juice” claims he hasn’t paid for a drink since the late-’60s. (J.K.)

Best Old Vegas Production: Jubilee at Bally’s. It’s still smiles and styles in the classic showgirls production, which opened in 1981.

https://www.harrahs.com/casinos/ballys-las-vegas/casino-entertainment/ (J.K.) Las Vegas Sun photo

Pluckiest Skate Crew: The cast of Ice at the Riv. Their feet might be cold, but there is warmth in their hearts! http://www.rivierahotel.com/ (J.K.)

Best Place To Spot Monty Python’s Spamalot’s John O’Hurley At 7 p.m. The Night Of Any Show: Corsa Italian restaurant, across from the Spamalot lobby at Wynn Las Vegas (sighting expires July 13). (J.K.) Las Vegas Sun photo

Best Name Of A Dessert Dish That Could Also Be A Band You’ve Never Heard Of: Smoky Bon Bons, Kristopher's Steak House at the Riviera. They are delicious, but the smokin’ presentation (steam rising from a sterling silver tray) is what makes the dish peerless. http://www.rivierahotel.com/ (J.K.)

Biggest Local Self-Promoter (tie): Bon vivant-at-large Monti Rock III; vehicle hawker and infomercial star Josh “Chop” Towbin; Actor/Fashion Designer/"The Bra And Panty" Guy From Beacher's Madhouse, Gary Fisher. You guys – find a suitable steel cage and I’ll summon Vince McMahon. (J.K.)

Best Comic Not Working on the Strip: Bobby Slayton, Hooters. I’ve seen his act four times, and it just kills – relationships, mostly. But it’s good, unclean fun. A sample: “There isn’t a married man alive who is satisfied with his (oral sex) situation! See! All of the married guys are laughing!” http://www.hchvegas.com/ (J.K.) Courtesy photo

Best Valet: Mandalay Bay. Maybe others offer free bottled water while you wait for your vehicle in blistering summer heat, but this is the first I’ve experienced in Vegas. (J.K.)

Worst Parking Garage: O’Shea’s. Imperial Palace gets more attention (it’s far busier, for starters) but O’Shea’s adds an foreboding, unsafe dimension to its inconvenient entrance and exit. You swear there are nefarious leprechauns on site, just waiting to strip your car. (J.K.)

Best Headline You Won’t Be Reading Anytime Soon About UNLV Athletics: “Rebel football makes case for BCS bid.” (J.K.)

Best Bathroom: Mix, overlooking the Strip at THEhotel at Mandalay Bay. The best view of any loo. (J.K.)

Best Reason To Miss the Stardust: William B’s. The old steak house named for Bill Boyd stayed true to its reputation for outstanding food and topnotch service until the crew was hustled out days before the Stardust closed forever. (J.K.)

Best News For Those Who Miss William B’s: There are plans for a new William B’s to open at the Orleans. (J.K.)

Best Trump-ian Dig At The Competition: The joke at Trump International that rooms featuring a view of Wynn Las Vegas are offered at a discount. (J.K.) Las Vegas Sun photo

Best Vegas Rivalry: Steve Wynn/Sheldon Adelson. Sometimes it’s not only about the money. (J.K.)

Best Restaurant To Bite The Dust In The Last Year: The Hilltop House Supper Club at 3500 N. Rancho Drive, which served its last pan-fried lobster in June. (J.K.)

Best Bowling Alley For Local Color: Gold Coast Bowling Center. Some have been replaced for casino space (Arizona Charlie’s); others have been imploded (Showboat/Castaways), leaving the Gold Coast the granddaddy (that’s him on Lane 17!) of local bowling houses. Visit the hotel that once employed the Killers’ Brandon Flowers as a bellman, and pick up the split. http://www.hchvegas.com/ (J.K.)

Best Bingo: Red Rock Resort. The degradation of smokers, relegated to a glass-cased bubble, is worth the purchase of a dauber. http://www.redrocklasvegas.com/ (J.K.)

Best Lounge Not Open To The Public: Stirling Club at Turnberry Place. A few weeks ago, lounge ace Kelly Clinton couldn’t make it to entertain the rich and powerful Stirling Club crowd. In her place: Lena Prima, daughter of Louie. Not a bad sub. (J.K.)

Best Walking Encyclopedia Of Vegas History: South Point owner Michael Gaughan. Someday he’ll publish his memoirs and fill in many blanks about what has already been written about Vegas history. (J.K.)

Best Former Nevada Governor: Richard Bryan. (J.K.)

Best Former Nevada Senator: Richard Bryan. (J.K.)

Best Only-In-Vegas Date-Night Doubleheader: Phantom – Las Vegas Spectacular at the Venetian, followed by a trip to the Pinball Hall of Fame on East Tropicana Road. If Tony Crivello doesn’t move you to tears, the site of a 1960s-era Abra Ca Dabra pinball machine will.  http://www.phantomlasvegas.com/, http://www.pinballmuseum.org/ (J.K.) Las Vegas Sun photo

Most Compelling Urinal Design: The open-mouth effect at Cherry at Red Rock Resort. It gives any art aficionado pause for thought. http://www.redrocklasvegas.com/entertainment/ (J.K.)

Best Photo Op: The Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas Sign, still. (J.K.)

Best Place To Grab A Cool Out-Of-Print Record Worth Waaaay More Than $19: Record City.

Whether it be a Damned record, an out of print Coil 7-inch or a strange and

rare recording by 60s’ surf legends The Trashmen, this Record City is the

vinyl hub for all things strange, rare and totally awesome in Las Vegas.

The only problem is that if you want that first-edition Dead Kennedys or

Stooges album originally sold for somewhere between $8 and $15 back in 1983

or whatever, be prepared to spend double or quadruple to get that wax treat

off the rack and into your home collection. But hey, who cares right? It’s not

like you have a home mortgage or rising gas prices to pay, right? 300 E. Sahara Ave., 735-1126. (Aaron Thompson)

Best Eurocentric Art Gallery: White Square Gallery.

This Berlin-based import set up shop in Vegas back in February and already

has the local art scene in a tizzy. And with impressive (and expensive)

works by the likes of surrealists like Switzerland’s Elena Habitcher or

German photographer and painter Corinna Holthusen along other Euro artists,

this gallery located in the semi-affluent suburb of The Lakes takes both Las

Vegas’ artist credibility and the levels of quality expected by artists

showing in town to new and exciting levels. A must visit for anyone at all

interested or involved in the local art scene. (9440 W. Sahara Ave.,

Suite 180, 458-5858.) (A.T.) Courtesy photo

Best Proposed Stadium Project That Seemed Pretty Cool Until The Economy

Killed The Proposal: Project Pulse downtown stadium project.

Yeah we all want to watch a pro sports tam in town and doing it somewhere

pretty close to downtown sounded pretty nice. So when Michigan-based

real-estate investment company REI-Neon’s proposed multibillion-dollar

stadium and downtown revitalization project came to light last summer, our

itch for pro sports was totally ready for a Grade-A scratching. But a crash in the

credit market and tough economic times have turned the project from a “going

to happen” to a “going belly-up” almost overnight. And with competition from

Harrah’s on the Strip to bring its own stadium to the city, it’s pretty

easy to call “Project Pulse” -- the original name for the project -- out in the ninth inning. Bummer. (A.T.)

Stiffest Gin And Tonic (As In, Will Get You Hammered In Less Than Two

Drinks) In Town: Tie, The Artisan Lounge & The Griffin.

The Artisan (1501 W. Sahara Ave., 214-4000)

The Griffin (511 Fremont St., 382-0577)

Gin is said to be the Black Tar Heroin of alcoholic drinks. Yeah, be sure to

tell that to Gramps when he pours himself a nice cold martini before

watching the game on Sunday. But despite that, it can be hard to find a good

gin and tonic in town that gets you nice and blotto in under three to four

expensive drinks on your average weekend night. Solution? Cheap drunkards

take notice, the Artisan and the Griffin’s GN’Ts are so strong you can get

to that happy place in almost one drink flat while not necessarily choking

down something that tastes like strychnine. And when getting slammed, a good

drink can sometimes be all that matters, that is until you get the third of

fourth drink that is. (A.T.) Las Vegas Sun photo

Best Place to Stretch Your Legs At The Movies: Rave Motion Pictures. As someone who goes to the movies all the time, I find the little amenities very important: how close the bathrooms are to the auditoriums, whether or not the seats recline, how much leg room there is. I never expected to be able to stretch my legs luxuriously out all the way until I checked out the new Rave Motion Pictures theater at Town Square, where the whopping four feet of leg room allows even the relatively tall to not feel confined while catching the latest blockbuster (in crystal-clear digital projection, no less). 6587 Las Vegas Blvd. S., 362-7283 (Josh Bell)

Best Local Filmmaker: Tom Barndt. Barndt’s weird, beautiful, funny and often baffling short films have played local festivals including CineVegas and the Dam Short Film Festival, and his “The Mark” made it to this year’s Sundance. Barndt and partner Samara St. Croix are hard at work on a feature, which will no doubt be as unique and hilarious as all their other work. We can’t wait to see it. (J.B.) Courtesy photo

Most Rewarding One-Day Adventure: Arizona Hot Springs. Much as we love the bright lights and over-the-top action that make Vegas, well, Vegas, every so often we need to escape to somewhere more serene, somewhere like the Arizona Hot Springs. About four miles east of Hoover Dam, a small gravel parking lot marks the entrance to White Rock Canyon and the start of the 3-mile hike to reach the springs. Follow the wash through the shallow canyon to the Colorado River, and continue on for about 20 minutes until a short ladder climb reveals a steaming pool filled with mineralized, 111-degree water. There’s nothing like a soak in a natural hot tub to prepare sore muscles for the uphill hike home. US Highway 93, Arizona. 4.2 miles past the Hoover Dam. http://www.nps.gov/lame/planyourvisit/hikeazhot.htm (S.F.)

Most Exciting Off-Strip Construction Project: Las Vegas Ski and Snowboard Resort expansion. No one moves to Las Vegas for the snowboarding or skiing, but if the Las Vegas Ski and Snowboard Resort has its way that might not be the case for long. The resort, which operates 11 trails and four chair lifts in the Humboldt-Toiyabe National Forest, recently submitted an expansion plan to the U.S. Forest Service that would include building more lifts and increasing the number of trails to 51 over the course of the next 10 years. We’re not rushing out to buy new mittens quite yet, but with talk of a groomed tubing area, a new restaurant and the addition of challenging rails and jumps for snowboarders, it’s hard not to be excited about the possibilities. (S.F.) Las Vegas Sun photo

Best new meet market: Yard House.

As locals, we know there are plenty of places in Las Vegas to meet attractive members of the opposite sex, but Yard House at Town Square is our new favorite. It probably has something to do with the 100-plus beers on tap, the eclectic, tasty menu and the affable staff ready to offer honest appraisals of brews that range from deliciously hoppy (Anderson Valley Hop Ottin IPA) to downright strange (Rogue Morimoto Soba Ale), but we’d come here even if there wasn’t an energetic, hookup-ready crowd. Sure there are better spots to find a wasted chick, but this one’s cover free and won’t leave you feeling so used in the morning. Inside Town Square, 6593 Las Vegas Blvd. S., 734-9273. http://www.yardhouse.com (S.F.)

Best non-traditional Vegas sports story: “The Birds” by Chris Ballard, Sports Illustrated.

I’m on a plane from Naples, Fla., to Las Vegas, heading west with half my worldly belongings stowed in the metal belly of the plane and the other half stuffed into the trunk of a Toyota Corolla riding piggy-back on a truck somewhere below. My boyfriend is thumbing through the January issue of Sports Illustrated when he stumbles on a story based in our soon-to-be home. “It’s about pigeons,” he laughs. Curious now, I crane my neck to get a better view and in a second I’m sucked in. Reporter Chris Ballard begins: “I knew I was too involved when I got a frantic call from Gustavo. I needed to hear the truth about the race, he said. Things had gotten out of hand…” http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/more/01/23/the.birds0128 (S.F.)

Best Place To Pick Up A Stripper Or Chippendale, Or At Least Someone Who Looks Like One: Las Vegas Athletic Club at I-215 and Eastern Avenue.

This gym, like its competitor 24-hour fitness, completely lives up to its name. You can get in shape, but you can also get a taste of what Vegas does best: intense sensory overload. A hot and happening scene, nonstop music, panoramic television screens, and bountiful eye candy will get your heart rate racing before you even hit the treadmill. This consummate meat market offers a fine and wide selection, so make sure you look your best—you may be working out, but you are also always getting checked out. 9065 S. Eastern Ave, 853-5822. (Jennifer Grafiada)

Most Voyeur-And Exhibitionist-Friendly Nightclub: Tryst. Obviously, sex permeates the atmosphere of virtually every nightclub, and there is plenty of bumping, grinding and beyond on any given dance floor. But Tryst at Wynn Las Vegas offers a unique feature, and I’m not referring to its famous 90-foot waterfall. I’m referring to the glass wall that reaches from floor to ceiling and separates the dance floor from the outdoor patio. We all know a special service walls can provide in the way of withstanding passion-driven pressure, and the glass wall at Tryst does this while featuring a free freakalicious show for the “I don’t dance” types and rich booth patrons chilling on the patio. It’s an optimum place to get “twerked” and the only place to be a wallflower and still be in the middle of the action. (Or, the center of attention?) 131 S. Las Vegas Blvd., 770-3375. (J.G.) Courtesy photo

Hottest Latin Club You’ve Never Heard Of: The Mayan. The Mayan can’t compete with the more popular nightclubs location-wise; it’s a tiny hole in the wall in a decrepit strip mall a few blocks north of UNLV. It loses in the looks category as well, being the antithesis of a vast, sparkling, ostentatious corporate-owned hotspot. It doesn’t get much publicity—although it did make the Las Vegas Weekly calendar listings. But the hot and sweaty pheromone-saturated atmosphere at The Mayan hits you like a tequila shot. This place keeps ‘em coming too, playing insanely dance-inducing music until dawn (it’s on Latin Standard Time). You’re guaranteed to score a free Salsa lesson from one of the many eager male patrons, and probably a lot of ego-boosting compliments and come-ons—in Spanish, of course. 2797 S. Maryland Parkway, 892-9222. (J.G.)

Best Oasis For Midday Reading: Crown & Anchor.

During the hustle and bustle of the business day, this British pub remains calm and quiet, and with its perfect lighting and underzealous servers, the Crown is similar to a café. Only better, in that it serves beer, of a wide and delicious variety. Two locations: 1350 E. Tropicana Avenue and 4755 W. Spring Mountain. www.crownandanchorlv.com (Joshua Longobardy)

Best Place To Have Breathtaking Sex: Top Floor Of The McCarran Airport Parking Garage. Nighttime, of course, is best. There’s the desert sky above, the lights of the Strip in unobstructed view below, and, no doubt, the very erotic risk of being caught. It‚s one of the great places for furtive loves and legendary lovers. (J.L.)

Most Deserving Prospect For The Exclusive Society Of Angels On Earth: Linda Lera Randle-El of Straight From The Streets.

Expecting neither glory nor profit, and never receiving much of either, she has dedicated more than a quarter century of fidelity and hard work to the streets of this Valley, advocating for a disregarded people the homeless with a patience and persistency that is not of this world. (J.L.) Las Vegas Sun photo

Best Weekend Getaway Not Necessitating The Use Of A Plane Or More Than One

Bathroom Break: Brian Head, Utah. (Xania Woodman)

Best Place For An Illicit Tryst (out of town): The cabins at the Mount

Charleston Lodge. (X.W.)

Best Place For An Illicit Tryst (In town): The lounge at the Peppermill. Don't ask me how I know this stuff...

(X.W.)

Best Use Of Local TV Station Airtime For Shameless Self-Aggrandizing: Las

Vegas' personal injury attorneys. "Injured? Ask Adam Kutner." As if he

knows whether or not you're injured … And from Glen Lerner, "The heavy hitter is the way to go, call 877-1500." I can't get it out of my head! (X.W.)

Best Place To Snap Cell Phone Pics Of Celebs Partying: The catwalk at Tao. The biggest advantage to this vantage? Page Six and Us Weekly might just offer to take that up the skirt shot of America's Sweetheart du jour. Not that we advocate that sort of thing. … (X.W.)

Best Place From Which To Observe Kevin Federline In His Natural State (that being a wifebeater; you know that suit is just a legal tactic): Cabana 16 at

Tao Beach. (X.W.)

Best Place To Find A Celebrity In A Glass: The Pussycat Dolls Lounge (X.W.). Courtesy photo

Most Intimidating/Soul-Destroying Ego-Crushing Nightclub Entry Experience:

(tie) LAX and Tao, then Pure, Tryst, The Bank, Jet ... Let's face it, getting into to just about any club these days is like paying for abuse. And hey! There are places for that in Vegas too!  (X.W.)

Least Obvious Best Place To Get Closer To The Stars (the gaseous kind):

Beneath Moon's retractable roof. Vegas is rather pretty, if you look above the neon for a change. (X.W.) Courtesy photo

Best Local Band Name: Rushmore Beekeepers.

We don’t envy readers being asked to pick one favorite local band; for us, that’d be like picking between children. But we can definitively pick our favorite local band name: Rushmore Beekeepers. Not catching the reference? Apparently you haven’t seen Wes Anderson-directed film Rushmore as many times as Vegas folkster Zach Fountain. No word on whether Fountain and his crew of pals/sometime bandmates do The Creation’s “Makin’ Time” in concert. (myspace.com/rushmorebeekeepers) (Spencer Patterson).

Best Venue You’re Afraid To Check Out: Bunkhouse.

No one could confuse the area around the Bunkhouse for Spanish Trails. But unless Greg Maddux has started hosting shows at his house, there’s no live music in Spanish Trails. Whereas, there’s plenty of it at Downtown’s best seedy bar, almost every night of the week—local favorites and more buzzed-about out-of-towners than you’d expect at a saloon with animal heads mounted on the wall. So dig up a beat-up pair of jeans and see for yourself, though we don’t recommend dilly-dallying on your way to and from your car. 124 S. 11th Street, http://www.bunkhouselv.com/ (S.P.)