Five ’80s films we hope never get remade

Admit it: You wouldn’t be surprised to see Ryan Reynolds starring in a Turner & Hooch redux.

Soul Man (1986) C. Thomas Howell’s lead character wore blackface—er, “took extra tanning pills”—in an absurd, racially insensitive story that would never fly today (we hope).

Turner & Hooch (1989) Tom Hanks owned the ’80s, so he kinda gets a pass for this slobbering detective-and-dog fiasco, but please, spare us the Ryan Reynolds redux.

Iron Eagle (1986) An Air Force brat steals a jet fighter and flies into enemy territory to rescue his POW dad from some meanies in the Middle East. Such a ludicrously bad concept, we could actually see Hollywood trying it again.

Ishtar (1987) Even if you don’t think this notorious flop was as bad as they said, let’s agree that if Dustin Hoffman, Warren Beatty and a massive budget couldn’t make it work, nothing ever will.

Gymkata (1985) Gymnasts fighting for their lives. A town full of insane villagers wielding medieval weapons. A pommel horse carved into a boulder. This one doesn’t need an update … ’cause the original was plain perfect.

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Spencer Patterson

Spencer Patterson is the Editor of Las Vegas Weekly, having previously served as Managing Editor, Arts & Entertainment Editor and ...

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