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‘XXX: Return of Xander Cage’ delivers an unnecessary action comeback

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Xander Cage has a new crew.

Two stars

XXX: Return of Xander Cage Vin Diesel, Donnie Yen, Toni Collette. Directed by D.J. Caruso. Rated PG-13. Now playing citywide.

Given that he was killed off in a throwaway line at the beginning of 2005’s XXX: State of the Union, it seems unlikely that anyone but actor Vin Diesel was clamoring for the return of extreme sports-loving secret agent Xander Cage. But here he is anyway in the belated sequel XXX: Return of Xander Cage, which comes 15 years after Diesel debuted the character in 2002’s XXX (Ice Cube starred as a different agent in State of the Union). The original XXX is a rather embarrassing artifact of its time, an amped-up energy drink ad featuring strained attempts to be cool and current and a nonstop soundtrack of bad rap-rock. Return is only slightly less moronic, thanks in part to the expanded ensemble cast propping up the mugging, mumbling star.

Essentially turning the movie into a cross between the Mission: Impossible and Fast & Furious franchises, screenwriter F. Scott Frazier, director D.J. Caruso and Diesel himself (as both producer and star) surround Cage with a multicultural team of badasses, a staple of the more recent F&F movies. Most prominent among them is Hong Kong action star Donnie Yen, a breakout star in the U.S. thanks to his role in Rogue One, who plays a rival former XXX agent out to steal a piece of technology that can control all the world’s satellites. After Cage’s former boss Augustus Gibbons (Samuel L. Jackson, the only actor to appear in all three XXX movies) is reported killed in an attack, steely CIA operative Jane Marke (Toni Collette, way too good for this crap) brings Cage back into the fold to track down the perpetrators.

From there, the story lazily throws in a few plot twists that allow Cage to team up with former associates and enemies alike, but the story is just an excuse for a series of over-the-top action sequences that mostly fail to deliver. Cage skis down a jungle mountain and transforms a motorbike into a jet ski so he can chase Yen’s Xiang through waves, but the special effects aren’t always up to the task. More impressive are the close combat skills of martial-arts experts Yen and Tony Jaa (playing one of Xiang’s associates), but they only shine in brief moments. The rest of the action is perfunctory, and the dialogue is filled with cheesy one-liners (including a “that’s what she said” joke). Even the stakes are sort of meaningless by the end, as Cage and his teammates shrug off any kind of danger with a smirk. Diesel already has one blockbuster franchise built on explosions, nonsensical plotting and makeshift families; asking for another one is really pushing his luck.

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