I am number 11 out of 100, standing on a red carpet with my child, waiting for a stranger who happens to be a renowned photographer, to judge him and determine whether he’s worthy to be in a new book. Number 10 is getting oohs and ahhs from people walking by. She’s only 3 months old; everything’s cute at 3 ... People should look beyond that, at how well-behaved and calm my kid is. Well, actually he’s shaking like a leaf and probably doesn’t want to be here. But he’ll thank me later. When we’re famous. I mean, when he’s famous. When we finally reach ground zero, I introduce my kid and myself accordingly: “I’m April, I’m slightly obsessed with my dog. This is Zapo. He’s half Affenpinscher, half pug ...”