Souvenir shop | Las Vegas Strip | December 20, 2015 | 9:32 p.m.

When three question marks ask about your hunger, the only answer is a magnetic burger with a side of fries growing off the bun like a goiter. You see a lot of weird sh*t in the windows of Vegas souvenir shops, but a life-size hot dog shining under a sensual, uninterrupted squirt of mustard and a perfect relish mosaic? It’s much more wonderful than a shot glass or a key chain or a onesie that says “I’m what happened in Vegas.” And yet, the “Hungry???” becomes so unforgivably mocking when you think about that scoop of strawberry never melting on your tongue. At least, not without a blowtorch.