Cleverboy vs. The Geezer Bandit


You’re welcome, California. Now give me my money.

Oh, I know you’re strapped for cash, but you guys owe me.

Sort of.

Let me explain…

The “Geezer Bandit” robbed a handful of Californian banks. Based on the security camera footage, the FBI guessed he was between 60 and 70 years old.

The banks offered a $16,000 reward for any information that led to his arrest.

So I called the FBI and told them that the Geezer Bandit wasn’t really a geezer, that he was a young guy wearing an SPFX silicone mask. I recognized the SPFX old man mask because I got one myself, from SPFX, last year. Wrote about it for Las Vegas Weekly, as you surely remember.

Anyway, the SPFX mask is unbelievably realistic, so it doesn’t surprise me that this crook fooled so many people for so long.

But recently, the police found the robber, along with his SPFX mask, in a hotel room.

So I’m waiting for my check, California banks.*

*But not really. I expect the banks were looking for “proximate causation”—a tip that directly led to the guy’s arrest. And I’m guessing mine didn’t. My tip, while possibly helpful, didn’t actually lead the FBI to this guy; the police followed him to his hotel after a robbery.

So how about we settle on $3,000?


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