The least dangerous game

Turns out laser tag isn’t all fun and games. Not when Cleverboy’s playing.

The following incidents occurred while playing a 30-minute “Ironman” round of laser tag at Laser Quest on Lake Mead:

-A boy, 12 or 13, shot me and screamed, “Die, you Nazi motherf#*ker. Seemed unfair that he’d get to be the allied power in this scenario seeing as though I’m Jewish and he had super-light blonde hair.

-A boy, about 14 or 15, grabbed the front of my gun and shot me in the shoulder. I told him, “If you do that again, I’ll report you to the floor marshal.” He apologized profusely. Didn’t happen again.

-A girl, also 14 or 15, covered up her sensors with her hands while I was trying to shoot her. This too is a violation. So, like before, I threatened to report her to the marshal. This time it didn’t go so well. “Jeeesus … It’s just a game, you creep,” came the reply.

Of 25 players, I ended up in sixth place. My friends Bizzaro and Shocker took home first and second places, prompting one kid to lament, “This is so unfair! The old people beat us every time!”

Damn straight we do.


Previous Discussion:

  • If you want to see a movie about what the magic industry’s truly like, Desperate Acts of Magic is the film for you.

  • I went as Gaston, and in the process, I learned that quite a few people have serious Beauty and the Beast fetishes.

  • What does Vegas get right and wrong about its Italian counterparts?

  • Get More Cleverboy Stories
Top of Story