1. Coachella is trending Remember that restaurant you used to like, before everyone in the world starting going? That’s Coachella, all of a sudden—the party even that kid who doesn’t like music needs to get into.

2. The hipsters have won Pitchfork is Rolling Stone, The Black Keys are Aerosmith and your grandmother listens to Bon Iver.

3. The lineup is that good It’s filled with acts that have either reunited or rarely tour: Dr. Dre, Pulp, At the Drive-In, Jeff Mangum, Refused, Godspeed You! Black Emperor … not to mention a little band called Radiohead, which has a few fans, too.

4. Scalpers suck The angry man’s explanation: I didn’t get a ticket; I bet scalpers bought ’em all. Could be they’re holding a significant percentage, but if so, odds are decent affordable prices will pop up as April draws near. Even click-farm operators have to eat.

5. Snoop’s entourage Let’s face it, the Dogg rolls deep. He could need, like, 30,000 passes per weekend.