Conlin Company held an open casting call for the upcoming reality show Face of Vegas.

President Sheila Conlin (Hell’s Kitchen, Nanny 911) told me she’s “looking for somebody who embodies the spirit of Las Vegas—somebody who’s poised and well-spoken—anybody can have these qualities.”

And she means anybody; apparently the Face of Vegas doesn’t even have to be a Las Vegas resident. “We’ve held casting events in Miami, Los Angeles, New York, New Jersey, Philly and Boston,” Conlin said. “We had the best turnout in Miami, LA and New York.”

Upon learning that the Face of Vegas could be some New York fashion model or out-of-work LA actor, I knew what needed to be done. I asked Conlin if I could audition.

“Sure,” she said. “Follow me.”

She escorted me from her cabana to Rain Nightclub, where she positioned me before a camera. She started with the predictable questions (“Why are you the face of Vegas?”), and then moved into the juicy stuff:

“When you moved to Vegas, did you get laid right away?”

“No comment.”

“Will you take your shirt off?’

“No.” Not like I asked to be the Body of Vegas.

Because of my unwillingness to cooperate (and because I revealed I’m a journalist), I doubt I’ll get a callback. But hopefully other Vegas locals will. It would be nice if the Face of Vegas is an actual Las Vegas resident, not some New Jersey frat guy or Texas rancher.