There are two kinds of people I don’t trust. Those who claim not to like chocolate (liars), and those who malign Peeps (aliens, obviously).

I thought this as I munched on a chocolate-flavored marshmallow chick beautifully dipped in dark chocolate, a half-off score from a candy shop trying to move its leftover Easter goodies. I’d asked the cashier ringing up my edible chicks and a snuggle-able plush one if Peeps are the most popular candy in the store. It was a rhetorical question. But she gave me a look. “A lot of people don’t like Peeps,” she said, insisting that she had trouble getting customers to take free samples during the holiday rush.

“They are wrong,” I said.

What’s not to obsessively love about a perfect dollop of marshmallow formed into an adorable baby chicken and coated with super-fine grains of DayGlo sugar? Yeah, the eyes are made of car wax and don’t dissolve (ever), but I doubt that’s the most unnatural thing you’ve consumed (remember that whole yoga-mat bread thing at Subway?). When Peeps are fresh, they’re like sweet clouds that just rolled naked on a sugar beach. The texture is singular, and sublime, with the marshmallow soft but chewier than the average campfire species (though the Huffington Post quoted an executive from Just Born, Peeps’ maker, saying that 25-30 percent of consumers like it “aged” to a certain crispiness).

Even if you somehow miss the pleasure of eating them, it is my belief that Peeps singlehandedly elevate American sweets. Like currency, our candy is some of the world's most boring. According to market forces, we only like milk chocolate, peanut butter and caramel, with a side of sugary gummy things in basic fruit flavors. There are exceptions (I’m looking at you, root-beer Bottle Caps), but it’s pretty one-note in the grocery-store candy aisle. When I go to foreign markets that cater to Asian or European cultures, I find things like pillowy Hi-Chew in more than 100 flavors (including the most dead-on cantaloupe of my life) and Kinder’s Happy Hippo Cocoa Cream, a delicate biscuit animal almost too precious to devour. I want my candy to have personality, and Peeps do. In fact, they have "Peepsonality."

And they are not just for Easter. Flavors range from sour watermelon to gingerbread, molded into all kinds of cuteness for us to mercilessly nom. They've inspired other products, from golf gloves to jewelry to fluffy toys that are marshmallow scented(!!!). They’ve been fodder for scientific research, police lineups and incredible dioramas recreating moments like Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech—addressed to the “Peeple,” of course. According to a recent Time story, there’s a Peeps movie in the works (and a Peeps Zamboni already in existence somewhere in Philadelphia).

My beloved mallows may not be America’s favorite treat, but I’d like to see a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup try to hold down a movie, a sushi roll and a tender embrace with Michael Strahan on national TV.

Peeps, better recognize.