Dear Editor…

A few months back, I began reading random magazines and writing letters to the magazines’ editors. I wanted to see how many of my letters I could get published. I’d hoped the results would give me some insight into Americans’ penchant for giving their uninformed opinions and the media’s penchant for running ‘em.

Insight pending.

What I can tell you right now is that the letters were difficult to write at first (Who am I to say this? I’d think), but as I wrote more and more of them, they became easier and easier to create. Now they practically write themselves.

Do you ever find yourself watching your favorite talking head on TV and wondering how it is that he seems to have an opinion on everything? Well, I’ll tell you how: practice. Giving your opinion, I’ve found, is an acquired skill.

In the last two months, my letters were published in Fur, Fish, Game (“A Magazine for the Practical Outdoorsman”) and MARLIN: (“The International Sports Fishing Magazine”).

I don’t hunt and I don’t fish, but I do write and I do have a lot of free time.

Here are the letters:

Dear Marlin,

I take issue with Walker Holcomb’s “Small Stuff Revisited” article. Holcomb writes, “When making crimped connections, it’s extremely important to use the crimp recommended by the line’s manufacturer.”

Really? Since when, Mr. Holcomb?

Is Walker Holcomb in bed with the line manufacturers or what? Holcomb writes, “Mixing and matching different crimps with different lines can result in the failure of your connections,” and while that’s true, it’s only half the story. Why not just say, “Be careful when you mix and match your crimps and lines”?

Oh, I remember why, because Holcomb is a bossy know-it-all.

-Rick Lax

And now, letter number two:

Dear FFG,

Your “British Scouts Lose Knives” article really made me laugh. Scouts can’t bring penknives on campouts now? Oh, come on! Knife maker Dave Budd says scouts should only bring the knives when “there is likely to be a specific need”… but how is a scout supposed to know whether there will be a need before he gets to his campsite? Aren’t scouts supposed to “be prepared” for anything? I say these scouts should learn to use the knives properly… or join Brownies.

-Rick Lax