The 82nd Annual Waste of Time

I'm so mad at myself right now. I feel like I do when I lock myself out of the house.

Here's what I'm talking about: Every year I watch the Oscars from start to finish, and every year, when the broadcast is through, I say to myself, "That was the most boring four hours of my life. I could have spent that time treading water or doing the watusi. Next year, I'm not watching the Oscars."

Yeah, I just watched the Oscars.

Giving that I'm doomed to waste hours of my life every year, can we at least cut it down to three? Can we knock out some of these categories? Best Short Documentary Film? Best Sound Mixing?

If you answered no to those questions, tell me: Who won Best Short Documentary Film this year? No Googling!