A look back at some of the most memorable vitriole from Weekly’s film editor, starting with his very first review:

"[Christian Bale] spends about half the movie yelling at someone or something, and the other half staring wistfully into space like he’s waiting for a dragon to come along and transport him to another, better movie, perhaps one based on a Jane Austen novel." Reign of Fire (July 11, 2002)

"By the time [director Paul Haggis] bathes LA in redemptive snowfall at the end, you’ll either be ready to cry or to puke. You can guess which side I fell on." Crash (May 5, 2005)

"I could not have liked this movie any less if [Ben] Affleck had stepped off the screen and punched me in the face." Jersey Girl (March 25, 2004)

"It was right around the 20-minute mark, when I truly wondered if I would actually live to see the end of this film, that the crying began." Spanglish (December 16, 2004)

"You could show it to terrorists to incite their hatred of America, that’s how stupidly misguided it is." Spanglish (December 16, 2004)

"The time I spent watching One Step Behind was 100 of the most painful minutes of my life." One Step Behind (February 16, 2006)

"It’s a patently offensive, racist and repulsive waste of celluloid, an affront to blacks, whites and human beings in general." National Security (January 16, 2003)

"By the time the movie ends with (spoiler alert!) what is most likely cinema’s only instance of suicide by jellyfish, the only person you’ll want to cry for is yourself, for having been fooled into sitting through the whole thing." Seven Pounds (December 18, 2008)

"Perhaps the blandest movie ever to exist, directed so squarely down the middle of the road that helmer Donald Petrie might as well be painting yellow lines." Welcome to Mooseport (February 19, 2004)

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