Dining

Sex in a can

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Dr. Chao Adult Drink

“Nourish sexual glands.” It was only a matter of time until a drink promised as much. We believe so deeply in the power of beverages. We buy canned and carbonated energy, detoxification, relaxation, joint health, brain power. Of course someone figured we’d drink sex, or the promise of it. Dr. Chao Adult Drink offers, among other things, to help you “maintain good sexual health” and “recover from sexual weakness such as: sexual exhaustion, debility and neurasthenia.” Whole Foods sells the 8-ounce can for $3.49. Adult Drink has no calories, sugar, protein, fiber or sodium. It’s a combination of herbs (some approaching unpronounceable) and water served cold. It tastes like it’s good for you, which is to say medicinal, which is to say bad: Rank prune juice with a hint of anise and old apricot. Not that flavor matters one iota when it comes to drinks—who hasn’t acquired a taste for Red Bull, after all?

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Abigail Goldman

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