Karaoke first appeared stateside in the 1980s. It took a while to catch on. I remember encountering the word karaoke—a Japanese portmanteau meaning “empty orchestra”—in a 1987 story in Rolling Stone; something about David Byrne trying out this new-to-America form of interactive art with a demented version of “Whole Lotta Love.” It sounded so wonderfully avant-garde to my ears, a new form of creative expression: “Ooh, karaoke! The Talking Heads guy likes it!”
But alas: Smash cut to 40 years later, and a drunk crypto bro torturing “Mr. Brightside” half to death. Back in the 1980s, I could scarcely have imagined the eldritch terror of hearing the opening notes of “Sweet Caroline” in a karaoke bar, knowing what was coming next.
Ugly Duckling—now open in the Arts District, in a space it shares with the relocated Swan Dive—returns karaoke to the realm of art. A cousin to Portland, Oregon hot spot Baby Ketten Karaoke—named “America’s greatest karaoke night” by the New York Times—Ugly Duckling is karaoke that David Byrne could love. Rotation bribes are banned. The sound is impeccable, and a vocal monitor helps you to keep good pitch. And their 393-page catalog is packed with songs you’ve likely never performed as karaoke: Destroyer’s “Tinseltown Swimming in Blood,” Tyler The Creator’s “Okra,” “Get Schwifty” from Rick & Morty and thousands more deep cuts, mashups and remixes.
And they just plain sound good. Most of Ugly Duckling’s karaoke songs are built around the original backing tracks, meticulously assembled by Baby Ketten founder John Brophy himself. Sitting at Ugly Duckling’s bar with the venue’s general manager Chauncy James, Brophy tells an illustrative story about visiting a karaoke room in Japan.
“I’m like, oh, they’ve got Nine Inch Nails’ ‘Perfect Drug,’ and it’s like…” Brophy makes a tinny, cheap keyboard noise. “And the video is, like, two lovers by the side of a duck pond. I still enjoy it. But to me, nothing rivals fronting a live karaoke band that’s nailing it. A nice sound system, replicating the volume and the bass as closely as possible, as if that band’s behind you … that’s the design for this place.”
Put another way: I saw someone sing Depeche Mode’s “Enjoy the Silence,” with that song’s original instrumentation and music video. That man instantly transformed into Dave Gahan. Well, he did in his heart, anyway, and that’s what matters.
Ugly Duckling’s proximity to the new Swan Dive—the spaces share a roof but are separated by a thick wall, with little to no sonic bleed between the two—makes the bar a solid choice for anyone wanting to make an entire evening of it. I performed a song before watching Memorials and Holy F--- at Swan Dive, and even enjoyed watching the bartenders belt out a few between serving up Ugly Duckling’s strongly poured, exquisitely tasty cocktails.
“Everybody we have here behind the bar loves to perform,” James says. “They wait in line to sing like everybody else.
And if they must, they’ll sing from behind the bar while they’re working.”
They’ll never get bored. Ugly Duckling’s songbook is so vast that your go-to karaoke songs may be rendered obsolete. Some time back, Brophy made a point of singing a different song every time he got up to the mic. He stuck to his “no-repeat challenge” for two years. “It’s not for everyone,” he admits.
Well, it’s for me. I’ve done three songs at the bar, by the Replacements, New Order and Devo respectively. I won’t sing those songs at Ugly Duckling again. If he’s out there, I challenge David Byrne.
UGLY DUCKLING KARAOKE LOUNGE 1412 S. Main St., instagram.com/uglyducklingkaraokelounge. Thursday-Monday, 8 p.m.-2 a.m.
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