To honor International Peace Day, Burger King recently offered McDonald’s the chance to collaborate on the “McWhopper”—a well-meaning but unholy olive branch that would mate the warring chains’ signatures, the charbroiled Whopper and the Big Mac, a burger that receives its “secret sauce” via “sauce gun.” McDonald’s declined the offer on Twitter with an unimpressed, “Let’s do something to make a real difference.” Nevertheless, the bad idea for a good cause inspired the Weekly staff to dream up our own, mostly abominable mashups.
Apologies in advance.
Long John Silver’s + Sonic
Clam Breakfast Toaster
Clam strips, eggs and bacon, deliberately sandwiched between Texas Toast. Yum?
Taco Bell + Dairy Queen
Grilled Stuft Steak Burrito Blizzard
All burritos are born to be vessels.
Dunkin Donuts + Wendy’s
With chili in place of jelly, like a lowbrow beef Wellington.
Panda Express + Arby’s
Orange Chicken Apple Turnover
A flaky, fruit and feathers pastry.
KFC + Jack in the Box
Extra Crispy Chicken Churros
Fried chicken with a churro crust. Yes, please.
White Castle + Pizza Hut
Fish Nibblers/Hot Dog Bites Pizza
A crust-itizer that alternates dog and fish bits around its exterior. Just no.
Del Taco + In-N-Out
Animal-style Macho Taco
Messy fries in a loaded taco. What’s not to like?