I received my first official introduction to feminism via a women’s-studies class in college. Ten years later, I found myself eagerly shedding most of the ideas I developed there, along with more than a little of my hard-earned cash, as I became swept up in the phenomenon known as Twilight.

I’ll admit that as a 30-something-year-old woman, I have also had to give up a certain amount of my dignity. Standing in line for the midnight DVD release, however, I found myself disturbingly surrounded by women well within and above my own age range. Women who, you could argue, should know better than to buy into the same old Harlequin-romance bullshit repackaged with sparkles and fangs. So why Twilight?

For me, Twilight was a gateway drug. Prior to the first movie’s release last November, I really didn’t know much about it. Having nothing better to do on that particular Friday night, I waited in line to buy a ticket. Little did I know that one viewing would lead to at least a dozen more before Twilight left the theaters. I was hooked, and I wasn’t alone.

Before I knew it, I had the T-shirts, the posters and the entire book series sitting on my shelf. It was like I went to bed one night a feminist and woke up the next morning a bona fide 13-year-old fangirl.

That revisiting of my youth might hold the key to some of Twilight’s appeal for me. I haven’t been this excited to participate in a pop-culture event since the height of New Kids on the Block. It’s made me feel young again. Well, and a little old, standing in line next to all those actual 13-year-olds.

I can’t say I buy into the series’ idea that a woman always needs saving, and the only person up for the job is a man—mortal, immortal or even werewolf. But at the same time, part of me just doesn’t care. Who wouldn’t want an Edward or Jacob in their life? Bella rarely has to do anything for herself. She doesn’t even have to walk; Edward just carries her on his back. And if she gets into trouble, she can always count on one of the two to be lurking nearby, eager to come to her rescue.

And I can see the appeal of being the sole object of someone’s desire. Imagine a hot, brooding, 17-year-old vampire boy only had eyes for you. Yes, perhaps this is all sounding a bit stalker-ish, but then again, we all know it’s pure fantasy, right?

Therein lies the danger for younger readers. As someone looking at Stephenie Meyer’s work with a feminist eye, I can see the flaws—I just choose to look past them. But one has to wonder what lifelong impact this material could have on an adolescent female. Will she believe that the only way that love can be true is if it is perfect? Will she also believe that she, in turn, has to be perfect to attract a mate? (And by perfect, I mean chaste.) From a parent’s perspective, one of the main selling points of the series is its overall theme of abstinence. In the books, having sex with Edward can literally get Bella killed. Talk about scare tactics. Never mind the fact—spoiler alert here if you haven’t read all four books—that it is Bella’s marriage to Edward that ultimately almost gets her killed, after he somehow manages to impregnate her human body with his immortal spawn. Maybe the true message here should not be that sex before marriage is deadly, but that sex without a condom is always just plain stupid.

This whole Madonna/whore complex isn’t the only theme that, as a feminist reader, makes me cringe. At the end of the series, even Bella’s vampire “power” turns out to be a traditionally feminine characteristic—she’s a “shield.” Yes, while Edward can read minds, Alice can see the future and the other vampires can do really cool shit like blind people and cause them to spasm on the ground in pain, Bella gets to wrap an invisible, mothering mental wing around everyone and keep them out of harm’s way. And her true power isn’t revealed until Bella herself becomes a mother, which she discovers was her true destiny all along. That, and being a good wife to Edward for all eternity.

Is it possible a 13-year-old girl somewhere out there believes the world of Twilight is an accurate portrayal of modern-day love, relationships and a woman’s place in the world? I’d like to believe not, but my gut tells me otherwise.