It's every man's dream and every woman's ... well, we honestly don't believe thoughts like this ever cross a woman's mind. Magician Nathan Burton will be locking himself in a Plexiglas box with seven showgirls for a week, suspended at the Desert Passage, and filmed for E! While Burton promises to stay put, the women will be working in shifts, which brings us to the call for 100 girls. The want-ad reads, "no dance experience or talent required, just an attractive figure and fun personality." With Sin and Treasures now open, there might actually be a shortage of beautiful women in town. Oh, who are we kidding?
Nathan Burton Open Call
Where: V Theatre, Desert Passage
When: 1-6 p.m. March 4
Info: 210-9913, www.nathaninabox.com
Rock In a Hard Place |
"Oscars" and "hip" are mutually exclusive, host Chris Rock's politically charged, racially tinged zingers notwithstanding. While Rock lent this lumbering ego-fest a fresh jolt of adrenaline in spots, and sprinkling presenters and nominees throughout the aisles and balconies moderately opened up the show visually from its podium-centric stagnation, the Oscars remain, at their self-absorbed, "I-wanna-thank-my-incredible-agent-and-also-my-wife-I-love-ya-honey" heart, the world's worst TV show.
Beyonce's performances, Rock's quips, Sean Penn's surliness, the Johnny Carson tribute and Jamie Foxx's moving acceptance speech were undeniable highlights, but Carson nailed it way back at the 1979 Oscars:
"Welcome to the Academy Awards, a glittering two hours of entertainment spread out over four hours."
The more things change ...
Local CD |
Minus One (2 stars)
Crosshairs & Itchy Trigger Fingers
Someone should really tell all these local bands that nu-metal is dead. Maybe then we'd be spared such painful listening experiences as Minus One's debut, a seven-track collection of interchangeable hard-rock numbers with bland riffs, murky production and horribly flat vocals from singer Josh Weltmer. The only thing worse than shamelessly ripping off a musical trend is shamelessly ripping off a dead musical trend. The world does not need another fifth-rate Sevendust or Drowning Pool clone when it doesn't even need those actual bands anymore.
DVD |
Bambi: Special Edition (G) (5 stars)
$29.99
While Bambi still provides a great viewing experience for the entire family, it's a movie that continually begs the question as to what makes one title G and another PG. Even on the small screen, its depictions of the killing of Bambi's mother, fiery destruction of a wildlife habitat and reckless use of firearms by barbarous hunters remain powerful enough to disturb sensitive and empathetic children. The latest incarnation restores much of the original's luster, and includes games, behind-the-scenes material and interactive features.
The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie (PG) (3 stars)
$29.95
On the other hand, parental guidance is advised for purchasers of The SpongeBob Squarepants Movie, which requires nothing of its young viewers except a willingness to laugh at some goofy cartoon humor. The board cited "crude humor" but perhaps its members actually bought the insane argument that Bikini Bottom is a thinly camouflaged breeding ground for homosexual activists. Then again, Disney's always been accorded favored-nation status when it comes to such questions.
Stan Lee's Stripperella (NR) (2 stars)
$26.99
Because Stan Lee's Stripperella debuted on Spike TV—a niche cable channel for frat boys of all ages—it avoided the indignity of being given an R by the ratings board for its animated violence, piggy language and nipple slippage. Pamela Anderson provides the voice and anatomical inspiration for the stripper-turned-secret agent, who crushes evil-doers with her thunder thighs. Besides playing fast and loose with the concept of "uncensored," Stripperella offers little in the way of bonus features.
Spike & Mike's Sick & Twisted Festival of Animation: Caught In The Act (NR) (4 stars)
$19.98
Also going out unrated—but carrying a self-imposed M for "mature"—is the latest edition of Spike & Mike's Sick & Twisted Festival of Animation: Caught In The Act. It includes two typically outrageous shorts in 3-D. The package contains 3-D glasses and a making-of featurette.