Take Our Word for It

When you get down to it, life is really about separating the good from the bad, the wheat from the chaff. Because who has time for chaffy wheat? Not you! Here, then, the Weekly’s guide to a few things unabashedly worth your time.

Contributors Josh Bell, Steve Bornfeld, Scott Dickensheets, Wesley Gatbonton, Rachel Heisler, Martin Stein, Stacy J. Willis

Law & Order (the Original)

OK, so SVU has sicker crimes and critics' drool all over it, and CI has quirky-creepy copper Vincent D'Onofrio and the return of original flatfoot Chris Noth. But quietly and steadily, the grandpappy show has refreshed itself with Dennis Farina's Detective Fontana, a hardass fashionisto—unafraid that wearing pink ties and yellow scarves somehow threatens his manhood—who has lent both menace and style to a series in serious need of juice. Sam Waterston's neck waddle of righteous indignation can't do it all. New episodes on NBC Wednesdays at 10 p.m.—Steve Bornfeld

The Henderson Interchange

Whaddaya know: It works. It actually swings you from the road you're on to the road you need to be on. Of course, 15 minutes from now it'll be packed to a standstill and we'll be cursing each other in the warm gloom of rush hour, but for now, a few words I never thought I'd say: Nice work, traffic engineers!—Scott Dickensheets

Psychological Care

Enough said.—Stacy J. Willis

Baseball Nut Ice Cream from Baskin Robins

If there is one sport I couldn't care less about, it's baseball. I prefer basketball to pretty much any other sport. But one thing about baseball season that gets me excited is I know Baskin Robins will begin carrying my favorite ice cream, Baseball Nut. It consists of vanilla ice cream, raspberry syrup and cashew nuts. That probably doesn't sound like much to you, but for me it means tons of fun.—Wesley Gatbonton

Arthur Chrenkoff's Blog

Say what you like about the liberation of Iraq and Afghanistan, you have to agree the mainstream media has a tendency to only report the bad news—just as they do in every other avenue of life (it sells papers, folks). For the good news, one consistent place to turn has been Chrenkoff's blog at
http://chrenkoff.blogspot.com. Though he stopped posting in September, the archives are still online and will give you a renewed sense of pride and hope or make you froth at the mouth with rage. Either way, you'll be better educated.—Martin Stein


Yeah, everybody's got their iPods now with thousands of songs in a neat little white package, and that's wonderful. But there's still something to be said for holding the package in your hand, looking at artwork and having your entire collection lined up to admire. Not to mention listening to an album from beginning to end—in a shuffle culture, that's damn near revolutionary.—Josh Bell

Truman Capote's In Cold Blood

Read it if you haven't. Read it again if you have. It's pitch-perfect storytelling and journalism and, of course, it has its Vegas ties: "The Detective Division of the Las Vegas City Jail contains two interrogation rooms—fluorescent-lighted chambers measuring ten by twelve, with walls and ceilings of celotex. In each room, in addition to an electric fan, a metal table, and folding metal chairs, there are camouflaged microphones, concealed tape recorders, and set into the door, a mirrored one-way observation window ..."—Stacy J. Willis

Picking Your Nose

I know you think it's disgusting, but to me its one of my fondest memories of being a child. Nothing feels better than reaching deep into your nose and extracting a mass that wouldn't come out by blowing into a tissue. Everyone denies doing it, but I always catch people. Pretty much everywhere I go I see nose-picking, especially when people are driving. We might as well stop lying to ourselves about how disgusting it is and start picking freely.—Wesley Gatbonton


Read them. Learn them. Use them.—Martin Stein

Dancing in the Ocean

You may look like a fool, but it's a fantastic way to get out pent-up frustrations or make you feel even better on a good day.

Make sure to bring your iPod so you can listen to your favorite songs and get a really good rhythm going.—Rachel Heisler

Crappy Movies on the Sci Fi channel

Life is short, they say, but they're wrong. Life is really friggin' long. Think about it: There are 365 whole days in a year. Which means you actually do have time to watch Mansquito. Or spend two hours on Route 666, a ghost-thriller that finds Lou Diamond Phillips at the peak of his abilities (plus, Lori Petty's buzz cut allows you to admire the gorgeous aerodynamic sleekness of her skull). Unless you've spent a weekend marooned on the couch in front of Sci Fi, you probably have no idea how many dragon movies John Rhys-Davies has been in. These films are terrible, of course, and not in that camp-appreciation way, either. But in their very blandness, these movies echo the inert, listless minutes that fill the corners of our long, long lives. Might as well spend that time watching Sabretooth.—Scott Dickensheets

Nancy Grace on CNN

The Tammy Faye Bakker of news. The near-tears, the vigilante, do-good anchorism; the pleas to find the missing beauty queens and the circus-tent-size sympathy for the surviving spouses and parents of murder victims make this woman an addicting train wreck of news and drama. Tune in.—Stacy J. Willis

Looking Through Old Photo Albums

Thumbing through photos on a Sunday morning can be a tear-jerker, but whether the memories that pop up are positive or negative, visiting the past, old flames and family members, is a good way to remember where you once were and where you are going.—Rachel Heisler

Writing Letters By Hand

There's personality in the stationery, the pen, the script—not to mention the nostalgic charm of the postage-stamp-mailbox-mailman-three-day-delay-routine.

Add to that the way you can carry a letter around in your pocket or purse and re-read it, and know that you're physically holding a paper that was just days ago with your friend or relative miles away. Mostly, though, it's the handwriting. There's an entire extra level of communication involved in knowing someone's handwriting, and seeing it change over the years.—Stacy J. Willis

The Apprentice

Pick a favorite candidate for a position on the Trump team and throw things at the television every time something bad happens to them. Pick a least fave and pitch a hissyfit when they don't get canned. Martha Stewart's version just doesn't have the same cut-throat vibe, so don't even bother.—Rachel Heisler

Rent a Boat

Then fly around Lake Mead as fast or slow as you want. Captain, my captain!—Rachel Heisler

The Lost Boys

Everyone I know thinks The Lost Boys is one of the worst movies ever. I was 9, and for me, this was the greatest piece of cinematography I had ever seen at that time. Growing up, it was all about the Coreys. Feldman and Haim were at the peak of their careers and they were the definition of coolness. When they added vampires to that equation, you had a movie that was just awesome. Whenever it's on TV you can be sure I am sitting on my couch watching as if I was 9 once again.—Wesley Gatbonton

Ride Roller Coasters

Any coaster, anytime, anywhere.—Rachel Heisler

Turi Vodka

Who'd have thought that our victory over the Evil Empire would have, 16 years later, allowed this Estonian elixir be introduced to the west. Thanks, Ronnie! So smooth you can skate across its surface, it used to be found at the Venetian's V Bar but they've since run out of stock. If you find it served in town, contact the Weekly immediately.—Martin Stein

Organic milk.

It's weird enough that we drink bovine secretions. Best that we drink it from healthy cows who haven't been forced to develop drug problems.—Stacy J. Willis

Motionless, No-Multitasking-Or-Even-Unitasking-Allowed Cloud-Gazing

So simple. So obvious. So vital. So when—and why?—did cloud-gazing, the fine art of discovering that a passing cumulus resembles your aunt's ass when she wears pants two sizes too small, become passe? Find a quiet spot and reconnect with the sky. It's more effective than a fistful of Advils and a medicine cabinet stuffed with Excedrin Fast-Relief Migraine.—Steve Bornfeld

Nip/Tuck's First Two Seasons

Has the third season jumped the shark? First they introduced the bisexual Dr. Quentin Costa—basically Christian's clone. Matt starts trolling trannie bars. There was the waste of an episode when Christian is wrongfully accused of being the Carver with Det. Kit McGraw being ushered off of the show. Follow that up with the clinic on the verge of bankruptcy and the telegraphed announcement that Sean, Christian and Quentin are going to partner up with Julia, Liz and nympho Gina while Sean and Christian tamper with criminal evidence with the full cooperation of the police. Better to watch the first two seasons on DVD and hope the show's writers to come off of their lithium highs soon.—Martin Stein

Bring It On

Hands down the best movie ever made about cheerleaders, and the most sophisticated. Yes, sophisticated. You'll never mock pom-pom twirlers again.—Josh Bell

Southern Nevada's Very Own Gladys Knight

She still has huge amounts of soul and fire, enormous stage presence and unwaning talent. I've heard reporters say she's hard to set up time with; I've heard other people raise questions about her religious choices; but when I hear her, as I did the other night on a live performance on BET, I just heard the incredible, fever-wild soul of a gifted singer. Buy the Live at the Roxy track of "I Don't Wanna Do Wrong" or any version of the classic "For Once in My Life"—Stacy J. Willis

The New, Improved, Busier Las Vegas Little Theatre

Since setting their bags down in their larger new digs last year, the LVLT folks are running a three-ring theater. This month alone offers Neil Simon's London Suite on its mainstage at 8 p.m.; Afterlife, a series of four short plays, as its 11 p.m. Insomniac Project on the same stage; and Never the Sinner, a drama about the infamous Leopold and Loeb murder case, at its new Fischer BlackBox Theatre. Go. Make a weekend of it.—Steve Bornfeld

Giving Away Money

A little sharing goes a long way. Hand it to someone who needs it more than you. Send it off in a check to help others. Just give.—Stacy J. Willis

"Walking on Sunshine," by Katrina and the Waves

The greatest song ever written. —Josh Bell

"Don't Bring Me Down," by Electric Light Orchestra

Second-greatest. —Scott Dickensheets

Mack's Ear Plugs

They're malleable silicone, and they don't need to be jammed dangerously and uncomfortably down into the cavern of your ear; rather, they comfortably seal it off. And they keep more noise out than any foam variety.—Stacy J. Willis

Buzz Magnets

A gift from my wife, brought home from one of her business trips, they're simplicity incarnate. Two oval, highly polished, dark-silver magnets. Toss them in the air a few inches apart and they smack together and give off an insect-like buzzing noise as they fall. Strong enough to make my screen go wonky if I get them within a foot of my computer. Cool enough to distract entire departments. Loud enough to scare a publisher's assistant.—Martin Stein

Big Food

I don't mean some girly double quarter-pounder with cheese, either. I mean the 4-by-4 at In-N-Out. I mean the giant salads at Claim Jumper. I haven't braved the stuffed 1-pound burger at Hash House a Go Go, but once the insurance waiver clears, you bet I will. Now, I love small, pretty food, too—the niblets of super-rich stuff you get at jacket-and-tie restaurants, surrounded by swirls of sauce and "presentation." But I'm a tourist in those food groups. My people are mongrel American nobodies, and I eat like the farm hands who birthed me: big, and without apologies.—Scott Dickensheets


Despite being named the best magazine in America by the Chicago Tribune, this music periodical is still most often thought of as a spin-off of Maxim and an also-ran to titans Rolling Stone and Spin. It's too bad that more people aren't appreciating its in-depth music biz reporting, smart, snappy criticism and deft interviews. Also plenty of pictures of hot musicians, if you're into that sort of thing.—Josh Bell

Matzo Brie at Samuel's Deli

A scrambled-egg pancake liberally laced with matzo for a crunchy, eggy treat. Mmmm. Just like Mom used to make at Passover, but can also be eaten at Rosh Hashanah, Hanukkah and Purim—or for that matter, Easter, Good Friday and Palm Sunday. Corner of Sunset and Green Valley Parkway, in the Trader Joe's center.—Steve Bornfeld

Logitech Cordless Action Controller for PlayStation2

I learned the meaning of emancipation when my lovely wife got me one of these for my 40th birthday. No longer did I have to sit two feet from the TV, Indian-style on the floor (an increasingly difficult position as my body refuses to stay as immature as my taste in entertainment). Now I can lounge on the couch several feet away, or sit on the edge of the couch if things are tricky. Or when things are extra-trickly, even stand in front of the TV and lean and jump. Yes, and curse. But I could do that before. Best of all, it still works even when my lovely and now frustrated wife stands between me and the PS2.—Martin Stein

The Parker Retractable Ball Point Pen

There've been many superb advances in the world of writing instruments over the years, but it may have peaked in the early 1980s with the $4 Parker retractable ballpoint, encased in silver metal and your choice of three colors of plastic, writes smoothly, lasts forever, doesn't skip like the gel, doesn't blot like the felt tip, feels solid and weighty in your hand, doesn't require a cap because with the simple click of the thumb it withdraws into its own cartridge. Brilliant.—Stacy J. Willis

Coast to Coast Radio Show

Hosted by George Noory, formerly by the legendary Art Bell. Get up-to-date on the latest conspiracy theories, or get the crap scared out of you when Noory gets into it with ghost hunters and alien abductees. 10 p.m.-5 a.m. every night on KXNT 840-AM.—Rachel Heisler

Baked Potato with an Overload of Butter

I have always wondered if there is an amount of butter considered too much. With age comes wisdom and I am a wise man and I have learned that there is no such thing as too much when it comes to butter on a potato.—Wesley Gatbonton

Espousing an Intent to Stay in Vegas

Try it. Unloading the illusion of leaving is liberating. Vegas and permanence have a nonmonogamous relationship, we understand, but you just never really get the love till you give yours.—Stacy J. Willis

Taking a Nap

Come on, you're a little tuckered out, aren't you?—Josh Bell

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