Doug Has Lost His Love of Vegas
My, how the departed can turn on you.
In his June 21 farewell column, Review-Journal entertainment editor Doug Elfman damn near cries a river over leaving Sin City for the Windy City—he scored a gig as the Chicago Sun-Times television critic.
"I love this city more than anyone I know," the Elf-meister wrote. "I've vacationed in Hawaii and Cancun, and each time I landed home, a smile graced my face when I saw the Strip outside the plane window. I thought I'd be here till death do us part."
Five months later, the love is gone. In a Monday Sun-Times article, Mr. Elfin Magic not only thrashes Las Vegas: An Unconventional History, a PBS documentary that aired Sunday and Monday, he took potshots at the 702: "Before I moved from Las Vegas to Chicago this summer, I had come to realize Vegas is everything people say it is.
"Gambleaholic tourists. HIV-positive prostitutes. People jumping off parking garages to their deaths. Wait, I'm not finished. Strippers doing things in back rooms. Gatsby-esque, million-dollar parties. Drinking, dancing and vast amounts of sexual hookups. Vegas is a great place where terrible things happen."
Speaking of terrible things happening, Elfish Presley, have you peeped Chi-Town's history? Home of the mob. Reputed birthplace of street gangs. The 1968 Democratic National Convention. The pre-2005 White Sox. The Cubs. Richard Daley. And where do you think many of the mobsters who helped create this Sodom in the sand came from? (Thanks for the info, americanmafia.com).
To Elf-Man's claims that the documentary is holier than Swiss cheese—missing stories about Vegas' expensive real-estate market, the pitiable salaries for teachers and cops, the fight with other states over water, the burgeoning Latino population, the Mormon influence—well, who cares? Isn't that what the local media is for—to tell the stories of a city?
Elf-Dude includes the universal laments (by universal, we mean disliked even by locals)—strip malls, cookie-cutter development—but little of the good he experienced while embedded, like the nine perfect shows and the favorite interviews listed in his farewell column.
By the way, he ends said column by saying, "To the guy who said Vegas has no soul: stick it in your colon."
Yes, Doug, stick in it your colon.
Couch Seating: Priceless
On December 14, NBC will air a special of Elton John's Red Piano, the show at Caesars. What a bargain! This is the most expensive ticket in Las Vegas by far, and your seat will be way better in front of your television.
Potential Denial of Our City's Issues, Part I
"Studies have found Las Vegas, among the nation's fastest growing areas, had a relatively high population density and has managed to avoid many of the negative aspects of sprawl.
"... data shows Las Vegas accommodates more than double the people per square mile than the national average of major metropolitan areas.
"Clark County is 50 percent more dense than it was in 1982 ..."
The R-J Stomachs Time's Best Guvs
It's not often that we tip our hat to the Review-Journal for its self-restraint. But we applauded the paper's palpable struggle to keep itself in check Tuesday as it reported that Time magazine has named Kenny Guinn one of America's five best governors. Thanks to the conventions of journalism, the paper had to pass along, with the straightest face it could muster, Time's praise of the governor's 2003 tax hike ("his signature achievement," Time sez). Now, this is a paper that—in the name of fiscal responsibility, of course—would rather save 100 taxpayers a penny each than spend a dollar to help someone, so its real feelings toward Guinn's tax maneuver are grimly predictable. Yet the R-J story, despite the clear sound of teeth grinding in the editorial boardrooms on Bonanza Road, stayed pretty much between the lines. At least until the end, where you couldn't mistake the sarcasm as the story detailed Guinn's future plans to help education funding: "Only time will tell if one of America's best governors can help sell a school bond issue." Hey, self-restraint only goes so far.
(Full disclosure: Weekly co-editor Stacy J. Willis contributed reporting to Time's story.)
Look! We Made the Viewers Disappear!
Penn and Teller's two-hour TV special, Penn & Teller: Off the Deep End, tanked in the ratings on November 13. With only about 4.3 million viewers, the special, taped in the Bahamas, came in fourth for the evening, beating out repeats of Reba on the WB. That's a significant drop from the previous week, when a live episode of The West Wing managed 9.64 million viewers in the same time slot.
Perhaps staunch libertarian Penn would be better off debating public policy than sawing scantily clad women in half underwater.