WINK: Guy & Doll

Potential relationship sabotaged by a third party with problems

Sonja

A couple of years ago, I was introduced to a fantastic guy who I started to see and, as was usually the case, was immediately smitten with.


Things were pretty much par for the course; he was handsome, funny, smart, kind and as an extra added bonus, an excellent listener and I was really into him. Unfortunately, our timing was all off. I was still going back and forth with my then-on-again-off-again boyfriend, Jay, in Newport and Guy had recently had his heart ripped out of his chest by the woman he'd left the Midwest for and followed out to Vegas. After a few months of what he described as complete bliss, he came home after a weekend trip to find that his beloved had packed all of her belongings and several of his and skipped town to be with someone else.


Timing being what it was, Guy and I commiserated over coffee, movies, dinners and long phone conversations and before we knew what hit us, we'd slipped into friend mode. He was the only man I knew whose picker was as bad as mine.


Whenever I would get into a sticky, icky relationship and needed the male perspective, I'd call Guy and he'd give me advice, which more often than not ended in "he's not good enough for you, you should dump him."


It never dawned on me that he was hoping to have me all to himself someday when the timing was right. We were friends, and that was the way we worked.


About a year ago, I ran into Guy at the movies. I was with my children and he was with Hurricane Hussy. She was tall and skinny with legs that seemed to go on forever. She had on a half-shirt that showed off her perfectly flat tummy and tan skin; as we exchanged pleasantries, she clung to him like a latex condom. She ran her well-manicured hand over his chest as I introduced them to my kids, rubbed her ample bosom against his arm while grinding her hips into his leg, like a dog in heat. I was embarrassed for him but he didn't seem to notice how inappropriate her behavior was.


The next time we met for lunch I gave him an earful: "Nice girlfriend you've got there, is she always so friendly or did I just bring out the beast in her?" I tried not to sound jealous but it hung from every word.


He gave me a sad smile and ignored my snarky comment. A few minutes into the conversation he shared with me that he'd tried breaking up with her on a few occasions and that somehow he'd get sucked back in. He told me that she would say demeaning, horrible things to him to push him away and when she was successful, she would have her 5-year-old daughter call him and beg him to come back. He said that it tore at his heartstrings because he adored the little girl and that because the woman was addicted to pills and alcohol, her daughter would call him in the middle of the day and tell him that her mommy was sleeping and that she was hungry so he would run to the rescue.


As he poured his heart out to me, I felt the need to run to his rescue. After lunch he walked me to my car, I put my arms around him and pulled him close. I told him that he was a good man with a good heart but that enabling her wasn't going to do anyone any good, not even her daughter. I told him he needed to be tough if he cared about her, that he should pull away completely and suggest professional help for her. I didn't hear from him for months. I had only the best intentions. I think.


A couple of weeks ago my phone rang; I was surprised to see Guy's number. I was even more surprised when he asked to see me. "Great," I said, "you want to grab lunch sometime next week?"


"No. I want to take you on a date. A real date," he answered coyly.


Wow! He must have severed his ties and I wasn't seeing anyone; this could be perfect timing for us.


The date was wonderful; it was as if we hadn't skipped a day. We had a romantic candle-lit dinner followed by a movie about the most intense love story I've ever seen. When he walked me to my door, we kissed goodnight for over an hour, giggling like school kids. The time had gotten away from us in more ways than one and we were trying to make up for it. It was our time now and we were so happy to be together.


Unbeknownst to us, while we were reconnecting, there was a woman in crisis who was driving to his house and waiting in his driveway. While we were holding hands and snuggling in the dark movie theatre, she was continuously calling his cell phone, which went straight to voice mail. While we were making plans for brunch the next day, wrapped in each other's arms unable to stop kissing and smiling, she was swallowing a fistful of pain pills and downing a bottle of wine.


And at her daddy's house, a 5-year-old girl slept peacefully, waiting for her mommy to pick her up.



Sonja is a writer who covers the ins and outs of relationships. Or is it the ups and downs?

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