LV crowned fattest city for second year. Gushes spokesman, “It was a terrific finish to a perfect season!”
Cher comes out of retirement for Caesars stint. Gushes spokesman, “We’re lucky we got her before rigor set in.”
New study says Lake Mead to run dry in 13 years. So overwater your grass while you still can!
Hoover Dam pipes may be clogged by invasion of destructive mussels. Same thing happens to Carson City every two years.
Dethroned Miss Nevada has run-in with cops. Blames incident on despair over destructive mussels: “Bivalve infestation always does that to me,” she sobs.
More high schools may institute drug tests. At last, the prospect of high test scores!
Cops admit most burglaries go unsolved. Unless subjects flee to Dunkin’ Donuts. (You’re right, that’s beneath us.)
Wynn sports book taking bets on Westminster dog show. Finally, guys can yell “Go, bitch” with no social stigma.