Las Vegas

SORE THUMBS: WHAT’S NEW IN VIDEO GAMING

PATAPON    (E)

 

Rating: ****1/2

Sony Computer Entertainment

PlayStation Portable

If you play enough video games, it’s easy to get delusions of grandeur. After all, you control the fates of bands of warriors, enormous armies, even entire civilizations. But no game caters to a player’s budding god complex quite like Patapon. As an omnipotent being known only as “Almighty,” you bang the drums of war, guiding these weapons-toting, walking eyeballs to victory and dominance while they praise you with revelry and offerings on the pyre.

There’s never been a game like Patapon. It’s part rhythm game, part sidescrolling adventure and part strategy RPG. Each level begins with catchy tribal music keeping the beat. Then you pound out pata-pata-pata-pon, and your warriors, archers, cavalry and others advance. When enemies are in range, the Patapon’s eyeballs narrow to an angry glare, and you pound out pon-pon-pata-pon, prompting the attack. Match the background beat, and you’ll gain new territories, vanquish rival armies, distribute your spoils and birth more recruits for your mighty people. Eventually, the game reveals incredible depth, so if you can master it, then why deny it? You are God.

DRAGON QUEST SWORDS: THE MASK QUEEN AND THE TOWER OR MIRRORS

Rating: **1/2

Square Enix

Wii

If you’re a fan of the Dragon Quest franchise, beware. You’re used to the cartoonish visuals and happy-go-lucky characters existing as but a façade to a dense and daunting adventure. But here, it’s no façade. This is not the sprawling, complex, 80+ hour epic you’ve come to know and love. It’s been dumbed down a lot for the Wii, leaving only a linear quest that tasks you to swing the Wii-mote about two or three times to defeat each foe. It’s great for young kids who can barely spell RPG, let alone play one, but experienced gamers are better off playing No More Heroes.

THE SPIDERWICK CHRONICLES    (E10+)

Rating: **1/2

Sierra Entertainment

Wii, Xbox 360

The Spiderwick Chronicles movie often feels like a really good video game. There are fantastic new wonders and challenging threats lurking around every corner, waiting to be discovered. So it’s disappointing that the film’s accompanying video game tie-in feels so rushed and haphazard. There’s still the occasional thrill of discovery, but the experience is marred by mediocre graphics, faulty collision detection and animations that occasionally vanish mid-render. It’s a magical world where you can see the strings.

DOWNSTREAM PANIC!    (E10+)

Rating: ***1/2

Atari

PlayStation Portable

This soggier version of Lemmings actually works a lot better on PSP than Lemmings did. By blowing up rock formations, planting foliage to divert streams and harpooning the occasional predator, you can guide a large school of fish to safe waters. If you can forgive the insane learning curve that ramps up the difficulty about half way through the 80 levels, then you’ll have an ingenious little puzzle game on your hands.

 

When Las Vegas Weekly contributor Matthew Scott Hunter realized his career as a lab technician was seriously interfering with his gaming, he pink-slipped himself into a successful career as a freelance writer. Bug the hell out of him at [email protected]

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