1. Candy corn in liquid form is bright green, like Mountain Dew, but tastes like some weird hybrid involving cream soda, marshmallow Peeps, root beer, vomit and gum.

2. Sampling all four flavors—Spooookiwi, Candy Corn, Buried Pomegranate and Lemon Drop Dead—will result in a massive headache.

3. Mixing in vodka makes anything taste better.

Pick these novelties up in a grocery-store clearance rack near you. Or don’t.