No quantity of bleach, no amount of scrubbing, no dermatological procedure, will get this egg completely off our face:

January 9, 2003: We named Dario Herrera “man of the year.” Never mind that we meant it in a Time magazine way—that he promised to be the most interesting figure of the year. You can’t argue with that cover—Dario with his name in light, a not-so-subtle Elvis reference. We’re sorry.

Boy, were we just flat-out wrong or what?

On June 7, 2007, we explained “Why Barack Obama’s best days are behind him.”

“America Online is undoubtedly the new bear to watch. It now has the power to control the world’s media, the flow of information, what’s investigated and what isn’t.” (January 20, 2000)

“In other words, the Guggenheim’s arrival is possibly just the beginning of a tidal wave of culture in this city.” (November 16, 2000)

In the issue of November 15, 2001, we said this: “Rockers create an audible stir in the visual arts.” It was pegged to an exhibit of “paintings” by Grace Slick.

Dept. of rhetorical excess

“Another whore fallen victim to the pimp that is Las Vegas.” We were writing about the implosion of a casino, the El Rancho. (October 5, 2000)

In Laughlin for the annual River Run in 2002, during which shootings left four dead, one of our columnists had this to say: “I was at first horrified, then I began to get pissed. Of all the times for them to have their wars, why now, when my wife and I were on vacation, paying exorbitant rates to stay in a less than exorbitant location? (Seems pretty petty with four people dead, no?)” Actually, yes.

On May 10, 2007, we ran a piece titled “For the love of character,” in which we extolled the virtues of John McCain.

Sure, we tumbled to The Killers early, but our eye for talent isn't infallible

“Director Jeff Lester has his sights on Hollywood” (November 23, 2000)

“Kelly Schwarze is taking Vegas back from Hollywood” (August 9, 2001)

NO. AND NO.

“Will a new law make Nevada a pot-smoking paradise?” (July 20, 2000)

“Is sanity emerging in the medical marijuana debate?” (May 3, 2001)

Huh?

“We proclaim July Lactose Intolerance Month” (July 5, 2001). As best as we can tell, it was a brave attempt to battle the National Dairy Month hype machine.

“Leonard Cohen: I’m Your Little Man” (July 27, 2006). See, there was this documentary, Leonard Cohen: I’m Your Man, and it seemed like it would be funny to insert Cohen’s head into scenes from Little Man … a textbook case on the dangers of deadline inspiration.

This ran on the corrections page, perhaps as a touch of surreal humor, more likely as an act of sabotage: “I smell like cat litter. You smell like car oil. I got confused. My head hurts. Ouch.” (October 19, 2000)

“Five Reasons You Have to See The Commodores Right Now” (November 20, 2003)

The Weekly gave the movie How the Grinch Stole Christmas its highest rating, an A. (November 16, 2000)

In the May 2001 issue, we spent a whole story determining that the grabby tale of a guy who meets a cute woman, follows her to her room and wakes up in a tub of ice, minus a kidney, is in fact an urban myth.

In the September 21, 2006 issue, we declared this: “Survivor 13: The Death of Reality TV.”

Perhaps to inoculate ourselves from criticism, we cringed on our own cover: “God help us, we give Scooby Doo 2 three stars” read a cover line on the March 24, 2004, Weekly.