With so many news stories driven by survey results these days, we decided to get our feet wet in the pseudo-science of raw democracy and poll people, too.
The question: How credible do you find the polls conducted by the Review-Journal?
The survey: Nine people.
The clipboard: Wood, with metal paper-holding thingy.
The results are in:
• 11 percent of Las Vegans agree that the polls "make me sick."
• 22 percent of Las Vegans find the polls "less reliable than my horoscope."
• 44 percent of Las Vegans believe "grease is the word is the word is the word."
• 11 percent of Las Vegans proclaim, "It's the got-given truth!"
• 11 percent of Las Vegans insist, "Other."
Hey, can't argue with science!
Let's see if we got this straight: Federal law enforcement officials in Detroit claim Mayor Oscar Goodman and Metro, worried about potential tourism impacts and liability issues, kept mum about a 1997 surveillance tape, purportedly linked to al-Qaida and showing European operatives casing local casinos for possible terrorist strikes. Goodman and Metro say, "No, no, no," we were never told; the mayor claims it's a lie, with a capital "L."
Wait, there's more: Metro officials say they never got Friday's FBI bulletin, sent to 18,000 police agencies nationwide, about terrorists possibly using helicopters and limousines as weapons. As a result, local helicopter tour companies and limousine-operating companies didn't get the news until early this week.
The mixups rewind Gray Matters back to the early '90s, when miscommunication was the preferred mode of communication between Metro and the FBI, and incessant jousting over jurisdiction marked their interaction. Then-Sheriff Jerry Keller and the feds couldn't agree that 1 + 1 = 2, much less work in tandem—each often blaming the other for information gaps. The more things change...
Perhaps a little geopolitical lesson can help clear up some the problems. The Strip is in Clark County; Goodman is the mayor of Las Vegas, which is in Clark County but doesn't include the Strip or the surveilled hotels. So, on matters concerning the Strip, don't call him, call the County Commission.
1. Glowing mountain will help pilots navigate at night.
2. Will put a dent in the nation's massive hazmat-handler unemployment numbers.
3. Keep the yuck in Yucca!
4. Burying nuclear waste shows the Mole People who's boss.
5. Hope that employees of nearby brothel will grow extra breasts like that woman in Total Recall.
6. Hey, what's the big deal? It'll be safe in just 10,000 years.
"This doesn't look like Vegas, and that's good ...
"You look like normal people."
—Singer Shawn Colvin at the Clark County Government Center Amphitheater performance Saturday night.
Scott Dickensheets: We reverently displayed cotton Hanes boxers (seafoam green with periwinkle stripes, just like Michael Jordan wears) on a pole out front. Full staff, of course.
Damon Hodge: Washed a pair.
Damon's briefs: Underwater.
Horton Veal: Underwear?
The alien-worshipping Raelians have issued a new proclamation requiring all public officials to have brain scans. That sounds eerily like something one of our local political columnists might say. Is it possible that--no. But maybe? Nah. Is Jon Ralston a Raelian?!