Following the American successes of the ABBA-inspired Mamma Mia! and Billy Joel-themed Movin' Out, 1970s operatic rockers Queen have soundtracked a successful London musical of their own. Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Well, break out your spandex bodysuit, We Will Rock You hops the pond to begin its open-ended run at the Paris this week.
Produced by Robert De Niro's Tribeca Productions and featuring guitarist Brian May and drummer Roger Taylor as musical directors, Rock You's Arthurian storyline centers around a globalized world 300 years in the future, when independent thought and music have been outlawed. But legend holds that a hero will discover and pull a magical guitar out of stone to save the land of Bohemia.
Twenty-five top Queen hits will score the sci-fi action onstage, while an untold number of backstage hits will make the plot more plausible.
It's like Little Shop of Horrors meets Fiddler on the Roof, but with monster guitar riffs ...
Five of the following musical premises are slated to hit Broadway in 2005. Five are more figmentary than Ziggy Stardust. See if you separate the Sammy Hagars from the David Lee Roths below:
Title: Saturday Night
Featuring the songs of: Bay City Rollers
Plot: A dramitization of the Band Formerly Known as Saxon's early years in 1970s Scotland and the women who loved—and ultimately lost—them.
Title: Tonight's the Night
Featuring the songs of: Rod Stewart
Plot: In order to win the girl of his dreams, a self-conscious mechanic sells his soul to Satan in exchange for taking on the attributes of his hero, Rod Stewart.
Title: Good Vibrations
Featuring the songs of: The Beach Boys
Plot: Touted as a "hybrid of Mamma Mia! and Movin' Out," this coming-of-age tale revolves around a California beach town's obsession with cars, surfing and girls.
Title: The Randy Newman Project
Featuring the songs of: Film composer and adult contemporary bastian Newman (Toy Story, Monsters, Inc.)
Plot: An odyssey of the not-at-all boring life of Newman, featuring intriguing plot twists such as "upheaval, change and triumph."
Title: The John Lennon Project
Featuring the songs of: Um, John Lennon
Plot: The many personalities of a post-Beatles Lennon are explored by 12 actors.
Title: Roll the Bones
Featuring the songs of: Rush
Plot: Over the course of a drug-fueled weekend in a log cabin outside of Toronto, Alex Lifeson, Geddy Lee, Neil Peart and a modern-day warrior with a mean, mean stride named Tom Sawyer uncover the mysteries of the universe.
Title: I Am the Champion
Featuring the songs of: William Hung
Plot: No time for losers here, as audiences follow the events that led to fortune and fame for the Queen fan and beloved American Idol star.
Title: Oh Zimmy!
Featuring the songs of: Bob Dylan
Plot: A freewheelin' Minneapolis singer-songwriter takes Manhattan's Greenwich Village by storm in this early '60s comical romp.
Title: All Shook Up
Featuring the songs of: Elvis Presley
Plot: To quote Rolling Stone: "A handsome stranger reawakens a loveless town with the help of a magical jukebox."
Title: Hey Bitch, I'm Mrs. Kurt Cobain!
Featuring the songs of: Courtney Love
Plot: In this interactive extravaganza, audience members are subjected to verbal abuse, puncture marks, microphone stands to the head, kicks to the crotch, and the prevalent risk of contracting herpes.
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Real productions: 2, 3, 4, 5, 9