In the wake of Lindagate, the question on everyone's minds is who will be the next performer to be kicked off a casino property, and why. Well, we're glad you asked, because as the Valley's best source for arts, entertainment and everything else that matters, we've got the answers.
Hootie & the Blowfish
Venue: Buffalo Bill's, August 7
Charge: Encouraging use of illegal narcotics
Reasons: As if the name of the band wasn't an obvious enough drug reference, there are the albums: Cracked Rear View, Take 2 (pills? tokes? snorts?), and most disturbing, Kootchypop—the sort of babbling only possible when you're ripped out of your gourd.
Tom Jones
Venue: MGM Grand, August 11-25
Charge: Aiding and abetting George W. Bush
Reasons: It wasn't the umpteenth rendition of "What's New, Pussy Cat." It wasn't the constant panty-littering on stage. It's the sudden realization that he's British, and therefore party to the Iraq invasion coalition. Who knew the MGM was pro-Kerry?
Loverboy
Venue: Silverton, August 21
Charge: Communists
Reasons: Hailing from that socialist country to the north, wearing Russian-red leather pants, and their "Working for the Weekend" a blatant attack on our capitalist work ethic, it's clear where this band's politics lie.
Jack Jones
Venue: Suncoast, August 28-29
Charge: Offending casino's sense of pride
Reasons: Jones refuses to do any pre-press or attend his soundchecks. Call him irresponsible.