My top five observations as we celebrate—or is it mourn?—the fact that the NFL season has reached its midpoint:
1. From the more-things-change-the-more-they-stay-the-same department: the Colts' defense continues to have more leaks than the State Department; the Ravens' offense remains so limp, a Viagra-filled bucket the size of Brian Billick's ego couldn't lift it to mediocrity; and the Raiders threw up the white flag faster than you could say "Just Lose, Baby!" (No wonder Ricky Williams wants to play for these quitters.)
2. For those keeping score at home, yes, Sunday's 34-13 loss to the Giants officially signals the start of the annual second-half Daunte Culpepper/Minnesota Vikings collapse. Good times!
3. I know it's in appropriate to delight in the misfortune of others, but I must admit, I'm more giddy about this 49ers train wreck than I would be to see the headline: "This month's centerfold: Anna Kournikova!"
4. My Chargers—that would be the same Chargers who were tabbed with an over-under win total of 4 ½—are 5-3 and tied for first in the AFC West. Remarkable. (Pat yourself on the back if you bet the "over" ... ahh, that felt good!)
5. Seriously, is there a uniform in the NFL uglier than that of the Cincinnati Bengals?
On to this week's picks ...
Steelers +1 vs. Eagles My sincere apologies for doubting you, Mr. Roethlisberger. Can I please get my fan-club membership back? ... What are the odds Terrell Owens didn't make an ass of himself in the three seconds it took me to type this sentence?
Bucs +3 vs. Chiefs You're falling in love with the Chiefs again, aren't you? Trust me, you're making a mistake of Ryan Leaf-ian proportions.
Patriots -2.5 vs. Rams Can't you just see Bill Belichick sitting in his office this week, thinking to himself, "Should I design something to make Mike Martz look like a fool, or should I just let the poor sap do it on his own?"
Raiders-Panthers over 41.5 Before you start criticizing the Raiders for passing on Roethlisberger in April's NFL Draft, don't forget they did so to get a gargantuan left tackle to protect Kerry Collins' blind side ... whatever side that is.
Best Bet Vikings-Colts over 60. Part of me wants to believe that one of these teams' defenses will show up. Of course, it's the same part that believed there was no way millions of Americans would be dumb enough to fall for a putz who couldn't stand firm on an issue if his wife's fortune depended on it.
Last week: 2-3 (0-1 Best Bet)
Overall: 21-19 (3-5 Best Bet)