You gotta love Thanksgiving, don't you? Not just because you're required by law to gorge yourself. No, I'm talking about the irony: Here's the one day when we're supposed to take a moment to count our blessings—and yet we celebrate with family members whom we try to dodge the other 364 days of the year the way NBA players dodge paternity suits. (Speaking of the NBA, the line has been set: Ron Artest is a 2-to-1 favorite to cold-cock a family member on Turkey Day for failing to pass the mashed potatoes in a timely manner.)
Anyway, in keeping with the spirit of the holiday, here are three things for which I'm most thankful this season:
That St. Louis Rams ownership has publicly stated that Mike Martz will definitely return as coach in 2005—meaning my kids' college education might be paid for by this time next year.
That the following quarterbacks could very well be suiting up when the NFL playoffs begin in six weeks: Kyle Boller, Jake Plummer and Brian Griese. (If there truly is a gambling god, this will happen.)
That the NFL didn't schedule the Cleveland Browns on Monday Night Football this year. Lord only knows whom they might have had jump into the arms of Browns quarterback Jeff Garcia for the pregame promo.
Colts -8 at Lions If there's one thing I've learned in recent years it's never, EVER bet against the Lions on Thanksgiving Day ... unless, of course, they're facing Peyton Manning, who will carve up Detroit's secondary like a Butterball.
Bears-Cowboys under 36 What's going to put you to sleep faster, the tryptophan or this doozy featuring Drew Henson vs. Craig Krenzel?
Bills +5.5 at Seahawks Yes, Seattle has cost me a small fortune this year, and yes, O.J. Simpson was caught lurking at Seahawks headquarters this week with his favorite butcher knife in hand, but that's TOTALLY a coincidence. Honestly.
Packers -6 vs. Rams St. Louis heads back outdoors, to play in frigid conditions, against a quality foe, for the second straight week? Really? And people say there's no such thing as Santa Claus.
Best Bet Bucs -2.5 at Panthers. OK, I can somewhat understand Ben Roethlisberger's success. I can almost comprehend the whole Drew Brees resurrection. But Brian Griese? Who's next, Ryan Leaf? Todd Marinovich?
Last week: 3-2 (1-0 Best Bet)
Season: 30-25 (5-6 Best Bet)