Filling the void left by the end of the baseball season and the absence of a hockey season, the National Basketball Association is back in session. Seven months of fun for those of us who appreciate thunderous dunks, fluid passing, bulldog rebounding, flagrant fouls and masculine pulchritude. Following is a partial guide to the honeys of the hardwood: Even if you don't enjoy checking out the boys yourself, knowing who to point out may well keep your girl—or your mom—from changing that channel.
Corey Maggette: Oh, those full lips, those almond eyes, those biceps that would shame a Greek god.
Zeljko Rebraca: A serious cutie who hasn't succumbed to the unfortunate facial topiary that spoils so many of his fellow Eastern Europeans.
Jason Williams: To hell with Eminem, "White Chocolate" is the blond for those with a wigga fetish.
Shane Battier: He's got that sort of chisely cartoon superhero bone structure and won a lot of Academic/Athlete/All-American/Johnny Goodcitizen awards in college. But, I've seen him getting down with cheerleaders and the boy can shake it.
Alan Houston: The most classically handsome guy in the league. Despite being a gorgeous multi-millionaire basketball star, when the ladies make a fuss over him, he still blushes and looks at his feet. Endearing, no?
Stephon Marbury: He tries to lessen the baby-face thing with an abundance of tats, ice and that skimpy little mustache, but we girls can still see it. And appreciate.
LOS ANGELES LAKERS
Brian Grant: Trading Shaq may have made them weaker in the paint, but they are certainly a better-looking unit now, thanks to the arrival of Rasta stud Grant. And he can make foul shots.
Sasha Vujacic: Nice cheekbones and cute sideburns.
CHICAGO BULLS
Kirk Hinrich: Cute in a sort of goofy Iowan Ad-Rock kind of way.
Tyson Chandler: Simply a hottie. Adorable face, sweet smile, good haircut and musculature that perfectly blends buff and lanky. And he was so darling playing Whack-a-Mole on those American Express commercials last season.
Marcus Camby: Big, brown puppy dog eyes and a smile that could light all of Fremont Street or whatever big electricity they've got in Denver. Does more than his share of charitable works, providing abundant opportunities for 12-year-old girls to mob community centers, jump about spastically and squeal about how cute he is.
Andre Miller: Looking much better now that he grew the hair out, making me wish more of his fellow players would remember how flattering the 'fro can be. I know y'all young, but maybe you've heard of a man named Julius Erving?