Some things in life are simply impossible to understand: Carrot Top landing regular gigs on the Strip. The words "Mike Martz" and "genius" uttered in the same sentence. The French.
So far this NFL season, nothing—aside from a certain prognosticator's inability to divide three into 10—has been harder to figure out than the Jacksonville Jaguars. The Jags are 3-0 ... and have scored a whopping 35 points. (Conversely, the Kansas City Chiefs have scored 62 points and are 0-3.)
Twice Jacksonville scored a touchdown with less than 10 seconds remaining to pull out a victory; on the third occasion, the Jags led 7-6 when their opponent fumbled in game-clinching field-goal range with 37 seconds to play.
Now, I know all about cats having nine lives, but this is ridiculous. You know what else is ridiculous? The Colts being four-point favorites at Jacksonville this week.
Folks, don't get me wrong, the Jags have talent, especially on defense, but they haven't come close to playing a team as high-powered as the Colts. Put it this way: The Jags struggled to put up 13 points last week at the Titans; a week earlier in Tennessee, Peyton Manning and Co. rolled up 31 (and could've had more).
To suggest Indy is only four points better than Jacksonville is akin to saying Bellagio is only four housekeepers better than the San Remo. Take the Colts.
Jets -5.5 at Dolphins Miami has scored 23 points in three games. The Jets have put up 65 in two. And New York is laying less than a touchdown? As a friend said when told by a Boston hotel clerk that state law prohibited her from restocking his mini-bar with beer at 4 a.m., "Are you f----n' serious?"
Jets-Dolphins under 36 points Again, I repeat, 23 points in three games. Miami's defense, meanwhile, has been stingier than Tiger Woods at a five-star restaurant. Watch the Jets get to 10 points, then turn more conservative than a GOP convention.
Texans +1.5 vs. Raiders That line doesn't look right, does it? You're thinking the Raiders should be favored by more, right? Me, too. Which means the oddsmakers are begging you to take Oakland. I ain't biting.
Best Bet: Patriots-Bills under 35.5 points Here's a stat for you: Buffalo has gone under the total in 25 of its last 27 games, including 11 straight at home. That's the kind of trend that puts the children of professional gamblers through prep school!
Last week: 3-2 (1-0 Best Bet)
Season: 6-9 (1-2 Best Bet)